I was in an irish pub with two friends, saw there was a table with a few girls on the other side of the room and told my friends : When I look at you, wave!

Went over to the girl’s table and told them “I was discussing with my friends, and I said if I went over to your table, you’d instantly send me away” (Mentioning to my waving friends)

Girls: “No, why should we send you away?”

Got to know one of them closer.

I’ve had good results with the “How you doin?” You really gotta sell it, if you don’t make a fool of yourself you’re doing it wrong. The trick is to make a connection, however small and silly, and go from there. If you can make her laugh/snort you’re in!

Okay people, remember that this was asked for.

A long time ago, I worked for a dude that was a royal prick. But he was funny sometimes, and he told me about a pickup line he had used successfully. It sounded like bullshit but it was funny bullshit, so exaggerated that nobody would ever go for it, or even think you were serious in the first place.

I’m getting to it, but I rarely tell this story, and I’m old and bored, so I’m taking mt damn time.

So, a few years later, I’m out at a party. One of those friend-of-a-friend deals where I don’t really know anyone at all, but we know of each other in general through the network of mutual connections. So, not totally random people, but it was a big enough party that very few people knew more than a few others.

I’m shooting the bull, making some bank with my favorite party bets, which tend to draw a crowd. A little while of that, and I’ve got a pocket full of cash, a new camera, and a bottle of bourbon.

Now, I’m not a drinker. A quart of bourbon will last me years, assuming I don’t give it to friends. But you win a fifty dollar bottle (back in the nineties before bourbon got super crazy), it’s a good idea to open it and share it with the guy you won it from and the rest of the crowd. But I had two fingers worth, and I’m a lightweight because I’m not a regular drinker.

So, as I’m sipping along and enjoying the vibe, a lady comes up and asks my name.

That pickup line popped in my head, and came out of my mouth before the booze would let me think.

I said, “I’m real name, I’m from my town, I like peanut butter, and I like to fuck, how about you?”

And holy hell, the words came out and my balls drew up because they thought they were getting kicked.

But, nope, I was lucky. Her response was “at the same time? I guess I’ll try anything once.”

And it was on. A perfect storm of two slightly tipsy, utterly absurd people mutually attracted to each other.

And yes, we borrowed some peanut butter from the host and gave it a shot. Just gonna say, it’s okay on boobs, but I would not recommend it anywhere else, and if you value long felatio sessions, do not let anyone try it that way. Let’s just say choking hazard and leave it at that.

This did embolden me to try the line a few more times over the years, when I thought that someone might appreciate the absurdity of it.

I’m not saying it’s a great line to use, it isn’t. I am saying that when it works, it works very well. I’m also saying that if you’re going to try it, be quick on the dodge, because you’d be amazed how fast a drink or slap can reach you if you read the room wrong.

Not exactly a pickup line. But at a bondage event I asked this woman if she would like to tie me up. She answered that she was actually looking for someone with tits. I pointed at my ugly manboobs and said that I’ve got some. And that sealed the deal.

Another event, same woman, same start, I asked her to tie me up. Again she declined, stating the she was waiting to tie up [same first name as me]. Again I just had to point out that I am [first name] and we got on. She literally took my breath away. It was awesome. Ended up double teaming me with another domme.

“I’m really good at super Mario bros.”

“….”

“Like seriously I can find pirate ships and infinite lives”

“Prove it”

——

“I can’t believe that worked”

Don’t suppose you’d be in the mood to make a few bad decisions tonight?

I like the old classic “What’s a nice $gender like you doing in a place like this?” With a cheesy grin showing that you know it’s an old cheesy pickup line.

IMO, you can tell a lot about a person from their response. :)

I met a girl in a bar a long time ago and even after this pickup line, we managed to make it many years. So far, so good.

Not a pick-up line as such, and I don’t advise anyone doing this under most circumstances

I sent her a dick pic

It wasn’t an opener, we’d been chatting, and she asked for it

We already had a spark, and were flirting for a while

I stress, this was solicited, and I even sent her a link to a picture, rather than dropping it in her DMs, so she could still control whether or not she saw it

Anyhoo, it worked

We’re engaged now

Me: “You ever have sex in a recliner?”

Her: “No”

Me: Do you want to?"

Her: “Sure”

That resulted in her attempt to break a condom to force a raw fuck, which she failed because I had two condoms and don’t give second chances to unknown raw pussy. She wanted me to cum in her a few times raw.

She was fun for the time. I wouldn’t hit on strippers or OnlyFans girls ordinarily if you want a relationship of value because they are utterly broken people.

Can anyone help me to identity if my girlfriend is cuckquean or not… I’m getting some signs from here I’m curious now