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Hello, I am here. Never left just stopped posting. I was quitting smoking, since new years. I’ve been withdrawing, and all the lovely symptoms that go along with it have been wrecking me.
I made it to today and relapsed.
I don’t want to die of cancer.
I WILL try again after this pouch. 💪🏼Ditch the pouch and pretend it didn’t happen.
Quitting cigs is ridiculously hard. Can’t remember how many tries it took me. Finally kicked it, but the first relapse isn’t the end.
I’ll try to.
This is the second time I tried. First time I made it 9 months. Just 9 days this time. But I can do it. It’s only going to be healthier for me and my household.
You’ll do it. The will is there, all else will follow. I think I went like 2 years and then picked it up again due to boredom at work. Stopped a few months later, only to start again like 3 years later. That lasted almost a year and I just stopped completely.
That makes me feel a little better tbh. Ive been beating myself up, because how did I make it 9 months but not this time?
Thank you 😭💜🙏🏼
You made it as long as you could. It will happen until you just don’t pick them up again. Shit’s hard but not impossible.
Glad you’re still around. I must admit, I was getting worried about you as well
I’ve never been in your position, so I don’t want to offer useless advice. But I’m glad you’re working on it as best you can. It’s a hard habit to kick
Also, if I might insert my 2c: you made it 10 days. You’ve just proved to yourself you can do it. Sometimes it just takes a few goes. When my mum was trying to quit, the first time she made it 16 hours. The 2nd time she made it 2 days. Then 4. She “failed” every time, but AFAIK she’s managed to break out now, and no longer smokes
Thank you Baku. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I thought losing weight would be hard, but that only took cutting out soft drinks and OMAD. This shit is insidious.
I’m really happy to hear your mum quit! That’s fantastic! Besides, we only fail to quit when we stop trying to quit. She never failed, she succeeded!! Your advice is not useless and neither are you 💜💜💜💜
Yeah. It sounds like I’m doing basically the same thing as you did with your weight loss. But I never really liked sugary drinks (with the exception of ginger beer), so I’m keeping up the occasional sugar free soft drink
You are bang on there, so it definitely sounds like you’ve got the right mindset. I’m not even going to cross my fingers you make it, because I know you will without it! ♥️
ooh it’s hard to kick.
I tried with vapes but realistically just replaced one addiction with another heh.
You got this but don’t beat yourself up if there’s a cheeky accident along the way.
Pouch? Bruh I say this with love: You fell off the horse and thats totally fine! but throw the rest out. Start now. every extra one you have after the relapse makes it so much harder to quit.
I STILL want a smoke 8 years later and I only ever smoked when drunk.
EDIT: the sting of throwing the rest out and “pissing the money away” might help reduce the urge to buy another too.
This is a great idea, I’ll try! I’ve only had one so far and just had a cry in the bathroom 😭 lol
I really appreciate your support and understanding.
Sending strength to Spud! A step forward, no matter how small, is still a step. The patches worked for me, just enough to take the edge off so smoking wasn’t my only thought. It changed it to an every 5 second thought instead. 12 years free in April this year, and if I can do it, you can too.
Hey good to hear from you! hugs quitting smoking is the hardest thing I ever did (I smoked for 20+ years). Mr P finds it too hard, refuses to quit and keeps smoking (he’s been smoking for 50+ years). Good on you for getting this far, it’s often a case where you quit in sort of fits and starts before you quit for good. One thing I found really helpful was cutting down with a view to quitting. Over time I went from a pack a day to half a pack, to 6 cigs a day. Then I started to view it in terms of time. It took me 10 minutes to smoke a cigarette, so 6 smokes = 1 hour of the day spent smoking. I told myself, “stop complaining about not having enough hours in the day when you’re wasting an hour every day!” Whatever works, the most important thing is to keep trying. Every time you try and don’t succeed, you learn more about what your triggers were and what made you start again, so the next time you try I find you’re more mindful and prepared and more likely to succeed. It took me about 15 goes before I was successful, so please don’t beat yourself up too much about it. You’ll get there!
This is so comprehensive thank you! I really appreciate your understanding.
The first time I made it 9 months, but this time only 9 days. I relapsed the first time when I went to get some drinks with mates and I had one of their ciggies 🤦🏼♀️
This time it’s just my mental health, but if I can quit I can put that money towards actual therapy instead of this bullshit lol. But I will try until it fucking sticks. I want to be here for my cat and my partner.
nope. don’t’ do the full pouch. Cut that shit, smoke your day, then JUNK IT. give it to a neighbor, toss it on bin night, get rid of it.
You will slip up. it happens. Dont’ keep it around when you do. it makes it easier to keep slipping
Quitting is hard. Every attempt teaches us something we can use for the next attempt, eventually you hit on the right thing that works for you.
Just don’t use my Dad’s method. He tried to quit once. It didn’t work, so instead of trying again he just pretended he didn’t smoke and spent years furtively sneaking off to smoke and buy cigarettes like a teenager. He somehow seemed to fool himself into thinking no one knew, even though it was incredibly obvious. It was bizarre, and meant that when he was finally forced to quit (when he was physically incapable of accessing cigarettes on his own) he had to go through the withdrawal alone and unsupported because he still couldn’t admit he had been smoking the whole time.
I can’t speak as if I’ve had any experience with smoking but all the best and good luck!
Keep at it and never give up!
never give up
Hol’ up.
so many hugs
You can do this. 💪🏻
It’s ok, you can try again. It can be incredibly hard.
Good to hear from you, Spud.
The first step to change is realising that it would be good to change something. You can do it. Don’t give up 💜
Saw the phrase somewhere, “I will one day, but not today.”
Took me a hundred goes to quit, keep at it.
the exhaustion from field work after not doing it regularly has hit me like a ton of bricks, but it is lovely having a few more days of fresh air and slow, quiet life with company, off my phone most of the time. I definitely need an extended break from the city once I’m done with things.
Having a tense moment with sibling who wants to split the annual health insurance for mum by 3 and saying how he’s just dropped 17k on his kids overseas uni fees…
rant
My two other sibs outearn me by 3-5x and are also significantly older. This insurance costs a bomb (11k AUD/ year and growing - in a country with universal healthcare), and was richest sib’s idea back when he earned a lot more.
Eldest sib has always financially supported mum the most (he has always been a high earner). But he is also the most emotionally distant and meanest to my mum and doesn’t recognise the health impact that has on her (or that his contempt is obvious). His own kids have been spoiled most of their lives and he had a very cruel divorce and now needs to fork out a lot to keep his kids going.
I feel an unspoken expectation to be catching up to their high earning jobs and shouldering the financial burden equally.
I steadfastly refuse however to accept this. It has made me rather upset
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I chose not to have kids partly because they’re so expensive. I hate being guilt tripped into now having to pay up more than I can afford because i chose not to reproduce. The insinuation that my choices are less noble is low-class and narrow -minded.
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I refuse to be dragged into the unhappy trap of flogging myself to earn more, at the cost of energy to attend to the more fundamental and important things in life like being present for others. It has taken over a decade for me to be ok with not reaching the heights of others and wanting to craft a simpler life that focuses my energies better. I am not about to be conned out of this by those whose lives I never ever want to lead.
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My mum is no saint and she has had trouble with emotional relationships much of her life due to her own brain quirks and traumas, I don’t hold it against my sibs for being cold to her if they feel no love. but it is utterly despicable to me that the eldest then claims the upper ground for financially supporting her as compensation.
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Mum is happiest being frugal and taking care of her own health, she herself questions the need for this insurance. My sibling comes up with horror stories of how she would end up in a shitty hospital ward without it and how miserable she would be. Meanwhile she is feels lonely and low NOW partly because he’s the only one in the same country as her and is totally contemptuous of her, and that’s no concern to him.
I refuse to relate to my mother the way he does, and reject the expectation that I should cough up otherwise I’m heartless and selfish… I worked hard to move here and escape the narrative from our home country that life is a miserable slog and money matters above all else in the real world. I won’t be pulled down by crabs in the bucket.
hugs
you are family too and there is no reason why the guilt trippers should set the tone and not you
from the sound of it you have made the right decision in moving and starting your own life
I hate being guilt tripped into now having to pay up more than I can afford because i chose not to reproduce.
Yea I feel you on this. So rubbish.
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Have been talking to the bank. I threw up.
yeahhhh you know those home loan adds where the 20 something guy carries his laughing girlfriend through the door? Its NOTHING like that. Least it wasnt for us. We got in the door, basically collapsed on the ground and went “Right, that was fucked and this is a dump so lets at least get rid of these god awful curtains!”
Bank dicks you at every turn as well.
but then you pull up some shitty carpet, or get solar installed, or drill a hole for mounting shelves and it’s fucking wild
Looking forward to that bit. Won’t be able to afford much for a bit but there will absolutely be a ceremonial nail bashed into a wall.
Living in it when its a bit shit is actually great though! Your better off that way cause you get to explore your ideas a bit more. Nothing worse than spending all this money fixing stuff before you move in, then you get in there and it doesnt work as well as you hoped it might.
Ceremonial putting up of at least one shelf, or a single picture if you want the Clayton’s option.
20k and 100 trips to bunnings later! But yeah your right.
we literally have a bunnings less than 2k from us. 15 mins walk. Less by bike. Even less by car. It’s awesomely dangerous.
Will be even closer than that. And Spotlight. Very dangerous.
Oh god, not the mentone one, there’s an aldi and a reject shop too
Nope. I’m a Westie.
🙂 a home, a real home
I’ve got a distain for bank ads. There was one a little awhile ago with some guy singing totally mangling up a song by wedging in more words than a melody could provide but how tonedeaf to be singing about money when we’re struggling so badly.
Sounds about right 😺
Don’t give up. We bought a shit house in a shit house suburb while working shit house jobs with shit house pay driving shit house cars but it’s our shit house and we will grow old together giving each other shit. Hopefully soon you will have that and not have to put up with shit house landlords. Best wishes.
It’s ok. You got this! Fingers crossed for you. When all of it is over you’ll be able to settle in and make the place your own.
it will be ok
keep your goals in mind
resist sales pressure, do not agree to anything extra on the spot, say you will discuss it at home
Yesterday I helped get a lost Teddy back home. I would like to spend this micro amount of karma on No Bank Fuckups.
Bless you.
One of my earliest memories is of a kind lady who found my lost koala ( made with real kangaroo fur ) and returned it to me.
I must have been known in the neighbourhood as the little girl who carried her koali everywhere.
That is some high octane good karma
I had a roo skin koala too. Loved it into complete baldness.
Just got back from smelling the corpse flower. It smelt a little rotten, looked like I expected it to.
Just got my new license with the new photo.
God I look horrible in that photo.
I don’t even recognise myself in it.
Mine looks worse than my old one but not horrific which is ok given that I went for a ten year renewal.
My hair was also sticking up in my new photo and they also told me to take off my glasses.
The person taking my photo could have at least told me my hair was sticking up!
Mine gets progressively worse with each one.
Flexing chaotic kitchen draws…
I see your perforated ladle (far left of bottom drawer) and raise you a pair of herb scissors (surprisingly useful and a bit of a fave). Now if I can only find them under everything else …
Ok. I hate this. Knives. Forks. Spoons.Where are the soup spoons you animal?
Also very envious of the space you have.
I’m jealous too. I would kill for drawers wide enough to have multiple different knives all in their own compartments alongside various little utensils without anything being on top of or obstruction (or obstructed by) anything else. I’ve got a bit of space at the back of my drawers not ordinarily used, but the drawers don’t pull out very far, hence the unused
Last day in the current role. It’s a bit sad because I enjoy working here and we’ve had nothing on the past two weeks, so I’ve been enjoying that extended chill time at home.
I hope the new job is bearable. I think I need a job where I can lock in for a bit and make some progress. Either I can get some results and work my way up or have some impressive enough work to display on a resume.
I feel like I’m hitting a ceiling for the types of jobs advertised on the open market. Real advances from here will either be from promotions or networking
That last paragraph rings so true man. There’s only so far you can go with external advertised roles i reckon.
For most higher up roles they’re either internal promotions, people they know, or at worst a recruiter with a network. I know not every job ad on seek advertises pay but you don’t see many on the higher end of the spectrum compared to lower
Agreed. It makes sense that they’d hire internally for senior roles. There is already that established work history and trust.
dogs back from the vet. Shes scratched herself and got infected. shes such a good girl at the vet though! Does so well, unlike the other one.
The vet won’t see Gibson unless she’s sedated in advance lol
yeah. the kelpie get the muzzle haha the cats are surprisingly chill though. One of 'ems an absolute whore for the attention which helps.
Bought a nice birthday card, spoiled it with my crap writing. Ugh.
Don’t know if anyone else has that problem, but if I don’t write regularly my hand writing goes downhill and I can’t seem to write half decently unless I’m seated.
People who have effortlessly beautiful handwriting give me so much envy.
effortlessly beautiful handwriting
Gramps always used to say “good handwriting is a dunces accomplishment”. He was a doc so checked out.
In combination with bad hand writing, I feel like my messages never live up to other people’s expectations.
Rule lines to write on
get a nice pen
plan what you want to write
practice before you do the final copy
( my everyday writing is absolute shit but I can do nice writing if I put some effort in )
The quality of my handwriting is entirely dependent on what I’m using to write with. A bold pen, chalk, dark grey lead pencil or wedge tip texta: great. Fine point biros and my writing looks terrible.
Computers and smartphones have ruined my handwriting. Scribbling hand written notes while working doesn’t really count in keeping up my penmanship. I do know the pens to use to make my writing look somewhat OK.
I hate my handwriting
Absolute same on lack of practice. And I used to have envious handwriting.
To add to this, who else can’t make their signature repeatable anymore? Signing for things is such a nuisance when it’s actually checked.
If my signature is written correctly it’s a sure sign of a forgery.
Half an hour’s airing on the balcony with a cup of mint tea.
I’m going back to bed
Why the heck not
two sets of 1970s-80s cutlery , rolling pin that looks older me
impressive
There’s a ‘good’ set of cutlery in its box too. The multi coloured bee stuff. The rolling pin isn’t very old at all, it just got food dye on last usage.
These are good drawers do not let people tell you otherwise.
This screams “I have more important things to do”. Nothing wrong with that but fuck I’d love to get in there.
It’s a battle I gave up on. Clutter outside of drawers is more annoying.
Exactly. My linen press is desperate for a clean. I keep throwing things in there and shutting it really quickly. It’s definitely a 3 coffee job.
Mine would look like this except the other drawers hold tea towels, garbags and batteries, and appliance manuals.
Graters, rolling pin and bigger appliances/utensils got put in the cupboards
growls at VLC I have 5.1 speakers, my system is configured for 5.1, I’ve configured you to run in 5.1, why are you dropping entire channels you gurning hemorrhoid
You leave vlc alone.
It tasks me. It tasks me and I shall have it!
I tried almond milk for the first time today. Honestly, I didn’t hate is as much as I thought I would. I had it in a mocha, and I could definitely taste the nutty flavour, but I didn’t find it overpowering or disgusting. Honestly, besides the fact that my mocha tasted like somebody put a bit of a 7-11 nut mix in there, I don’t think I’d even notice the milk was fake or that anything was different
weight loss I spose
I started trying to do a calorie deficit thingy today (editor’s note: Baku means yesterday, Thursday). I had a naughty midnight HSP, so it’s barely a deficit, mostly just a break even, but that’s gonna be the end of them for a while. I don’t talk about my weight very often because honestly I am deeply ashamed of my weight, genuinely carry a level of despite and disgust towards myself over it, and it’s the main reason I would never consider meeting anybody from here (hard to trust anybody else to not care if I myself, care too much)
It’s not a new years resolution, I’ve just been deeply unhappy about it for fucking years, and now that I’m finally somewhere at least somewhat safe and secure, I feel like I can finally safely work on my mental and physical health
Today ran about a 300cal deficit, if my phone’s built in pedometer is anywhere near accurate. Otherwise, about a 200 surplus. Oh well. It’ll take more than that to defeat me. I worked on some calf strengthening exercises so that I can manage longer walks. I much prefer a long, slow burn over half an hour of intense cardio or whatever
This is probably the only time I’ll mention it for a while. I know what I’m in for, that there’s usually a plateau, and there’ll be plenty of bad or challenging days. But I’ll be off in the background trying my best
If anybody’s ever wondered what my vice is, since I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, dislike butter, and am barely affected by caffeine, it is, and always has been, overeating, a poor diet, and an over reliance on sweet things for comfort
I don’t need advice, I kind of just wanted to get it off my chest. That is my darkest secret, and the thing I dislike most about myself. Maybe sharing it will make me less nervous about sharing other things. Who knows
Your relationship with your body is complicated. That’s okay. You have an opportunity now to reset it and coexist with yourself on terms you like better 🙂
You’re making positive steps mate, there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about! Good luck to you, you’ve got this ❤️
But almond milk is so meh IMO, soy or oat for me (oat no good for cutting calories though and I don’t pay attention to soy vs cow calories).
Thanks Indi, very much appreciated!
Unsweetened almond milk comes in at the lowest amount of calories. Followed by unsweetened coconut milk. Skim milk and unsweetened soy milk are tied. Then “1%” cows milk, followed by unsweetened rice milk, and then full cream cows milk at most calories. Source
I dunno, I’m pretty shit at tasting anything that isn’t overwhelmingly strong. I usually double garlic, ginger, and other spices in cooking so that I can at least partially taste it. That’s probably the only reason I didn’t find the almond overwhelming
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That’s a great start! Any small steps towards health and fitness have the potential to become big steps.
I’m cleaning out my kitchen drawer and I found 8 vegetable peelers and 6 bottle openers. Time to be ruthless.
Make an offering to the #discworld goddess of things that get stuck in kitchen drawers.
I like that. The first part really resonates because I didn’t buy any of those peelers.
We just dumped our old stainless spatula-ladle set for a silicone one.
Feels good to get rid of old shit.
I’m still chucking stuff away everyday.
Yesterday it was spare nail polishes and an electric massage belt that my husband used once. Today it will be two cute toy but extra to requirement cushions.
Clutter never ends somehow.
also 2 pairs of shoes I never wear and never will
