Never had it, probably never will. So I’m curious.

(If the question isn’t allowed, which I don’t think is, for some reason I’ll delete the post)

Thank you.

  • @Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    129 hours ago

    I question the kind of sex people are having here. With my partner, 100% of the time it ends up with us both babbling incoherent words until we orgasm, then basically screaming at the top of our lungs for 30 seconds until the orgasm subsides.

    I don’t think it was that intense until we got into using toys, though.

    • @blunderworld@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      English
      11
      edit-2
      9 hours ago

      I’m sure it’s a range depending on factors like sensitivity, comfort-level, skill, general sex-drive, etc. I’m not going to pretend I’m the world’s best lover or anything, but I’ve certainly never had any complaints. I ain’t no pillow princess.

      That said, I also burnt the tip of my dick pretty badly on a towel heater as a teenager. Everything works just fine, but I’ve always lowkey wondered if that may have permanently damaged my sensitivity somewhat.

      • @Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        59 hours ago

        Fair points! I’m sorry to hear about your dong. I hope it’s not damaged.

        Both my partner and I are kinda nearly ace, with reactive libidos. Maybe that’s why it’s so mindblowing for us. We don’t do stuff very often, we basically have to schedule it and even then we often are too lazy. When we DO do each other though, whether actual sex or just playing with our toy collection, it’s completely mindblowing and transcends our bodies into the ether momentarily, leaving us howling.

        • Sockenklaus
          link
          fedilink
          57 hours ago

          Would you mind expanding a little bit on the topic of “reactive libido”? I googled it but don’t think I full grasped the concept.

          • @Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
            link
            fedilink
            47 hours ago

            Sure! We just don’t get horny on our own. We’re not fully asexual because when we DO have sex it’s fucking amazing for both of us, but unless we literally schedule a date and time to sex, it never happens.

            If my partner had a normal libido and initiated sex every day, I would gladly have sex every day. If I had a normal libido and initiated every day, my partner would be down.

            But we don’t, so we just have to be like “how about Saturday night?” and when the time rolls around and if we’re not tired, we’ll throw on some hentai, bust out the bad dragon dildoes, magic wand, and clit suckinator 5000 and just fucking destroy or bodies in the name of hedonism.

            • Sockenklaus
              link
              fedilink
              34 hours ago

              Thanks for your explanation!

              Today, I read about spontaneous and responsive desire (I learned something new :)). Spontaneous desire means that you get aroused mentally first, and then your body responds. Responsive desire means that you need to get into the activity first, and only then do you become mentally aroused.

              Is this the same thing?

              • @Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
                link
                fedilink
                22 hours ago

                Yeah, absolutely! Like, we both can get physically aroused and just not care to do anything about it. Then the physical arousal just goes away.

                But once we start doing stuff, even if we don’t begin aroused, we both get insanely physically and mentally aroused. Then it’s basically anything-goes-let’s-get-WEIRD-about-it-gross-things-are-now-hot, leaving both of our bodies wrecked for days. I usually have issues walking for a few days. Maybe that’s why we don’t do it super often.

                That reminds me, it’s been a while. I should pencil in a sesh. Got a new Bad Dragon months ago that we’ve only used once lawl

        • @blunderworld@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          English
          37 hours ago

          Thanks for your dongdolences, no lasting damage I’m aware of thankfully! And congrats on the good sex, there’s definitely something to be said for quality over quantity.

    • Tiefling IRL
      link
      fedilink
      2
      edit-2
      7 hours ago

      It really depends on the person. I’ve been with my partner (w4w) for 4 years but sex is not a core part of our relationship. She’s demi and I’m ace due to ADHD and alexithymia. Each time we’ve tried, it was ultimately boring and unsatisfying.

      • @Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        28 hours ago

        Ah, I’m sorry to hear that. My partner and are are both ace-adjacent and have reactive libidos. So we really have to schedule days and one of us usually ends up vetoing (to no hard feelings from either of us!)

        When we DO finally get going, it’s an absolute mess of hedonistic disgusting writing babbling screaming goodness. We have a thousand or two USD worth of toys we bust out and just destroy ourselves and each other. I’m surprised we both don’t want to do stuff more, but it’s just a lot of work, physically and mentally. Then my body is usually completely fucked for the next bunch of days.