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Nero@sopuli.xyz to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 11 months ago

Tragedy Strikes After Malfunctioning Wind Turbine Spills Wind All Over Farmer’s Field

thehardtimes.net

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Tragedy Strikes After Malfunctioning Wind Turbine Spills Wind All Over Farmer’s Field

thehardtimes.net

Nero@sopuli.xyz to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 11 months ago
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An environmental catastrophe devastated a local farmer’s field after a malfunctioning wind turbine caused a dangerous amount of wind to spill everywhere.
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  • hakase@lemm.ee
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    11 months ago

    They need to hurry up and tow that windmill outside of the environment.

    • gibmiser@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

    • ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca
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      11 months ago

      That’s it. From now on no more making turbines out of cardboard.

      • Plopp@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        How about cardboard derivatives?

        • kibiz0r@midwest.social
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          11 months ago

          Cardboard derivative operations are extremely dangerous. They increase the risk of wind spills by 2008%.

          Search “CDOs 2008 disaster” for more info.

          • msage@programming.dev
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            11 months ago

            How in the hell did you get this much genious into one comment?

        • MehBlah@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Like drink straws?

          • Plopp@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            That’s a great idea. We can just funnel the wind through the straws straight to the equipment that needs power.

            • thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org
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              11 months ago

              A SERIES Of TUBES!

    • Senseless@feddit.de
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      11 months ago

      But where would they tow that windmill to, if it’s not in the environment?

      • friendly_ghost@beehaw.org
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        11 months ago

        It"s not in the environment, it’s beyond the environment

        • hakase@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          But there’s got to be something out there!?

          • Tja@programming.dev
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            11 months ago

            There’s nothing out there! Just sea, and fish. And the part of the ship windmill where the front fell off. And a fire.

  • NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world
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    deleted by creator

    • ExpiredSalad@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      A little extreme but I get it

  • TokenBoomer@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    This has happened before and they did nothing about it. It will happen again. When are people gonna realize these things are not our friends?

  • tsonfeir@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!

  • UnrepententProcrastinator@lemmy.ca
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    11 months ago

    Can’t they just spin it backwards to get the wind back in the wind turbine?

    • cRazi_man@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      That will just leak wind upwards instead of downwards.

  • Jolteon@lemmy.zip
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    11 months ago

    Imagine an alternate world where this was real. Where using too much solar power caused the earth to cool, and wind spills were a real issue that everybody feared, but oil was a truly renewable resource given to us by mother Earth herself.

    People would tout the virtues of solar panels, saying that there’s no evidence they actually make the Earth colder, secretly scheming for their free power. More and more wind turbines would be built, slowly reducing the winds of the Earth, except for periodic wind spills flattening Farmers Fields.

    Hydroelectric dams would be built, but the level of the world’s oceans would slowly drop, causing cities on the coast to no longer be on the coast after a couple centuries.

    Honestly, I would absolutely read this story/watch this movie.

    • JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      Something similar actually happened with the crude oil industry.

      Crude oil was discovered in 1859 and started being used in the form of kerosene for lamps. It put the whale oil industry out business. At the time it was considered this great new thing since whales were being hunted to near extinction and whale hunts were becoming increasingly expensive to do. Crude oil was that eras “environmentally friendly” alternative, though I dont think they thought about it that way. It was more convenience/availability than anything else.

      Then crude oil became the environmental hazard with all the oil spills and many other problems it’s causing/contributing to.

      I guess my point is if you or anyone else wanted to write up your synopsis as a full story they could research how kerosene put the whale oil industry out of business, the marketing they used and the social/economic impacts it had at the time.

    • asdfasdfasdf@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Me too

    • jol@discuss.tchncs.de
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      11 months ago

      Oil would be this amazing renewable resource. All we had to do was dump our waste in the mariana trench and within a few years, it would spring up everywhere as oil.

  • Tronn4@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Someone take an assload of Dawn Liquid Soap and let’s scrub all the wildlife clean!

    • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      I was there and got some of the wind on me. Most of it is in my butt crack. Chop chop, get scrubbing.

      • Tronn4@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        You’re first… smacks lips

        • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          You know what they say: first is the worst, but second is the best. Your turn! applies minty lip balm

      • chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        11 months ago

        It’s nature’s pocket. Also make sure Tronn4 doesn’t pick your pocket.

        • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          Eh, he’s earned the 3 Werther’s Originals I carry in my pocket

    • Today@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      We have to save the duckies!

    • masterofn001@lemmy.ca
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      11 months ago

      Ironic

      https://dawn-dish.com/en-us/how-to/what-dawn-is-made-of-ingredients/

      • Jolteon@lemmy.zip
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        11 months ago

        deleted by creator

  • bestusername@aussie.zone
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    11 months ago

    • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Is she crying or did Morbo give her a black eye?

      NM. Zooming in I can see the streaks

      • bestusername@aussie.zone
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        11 months ago

        It’s makeup running because of sweat.

  • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Wholly believable

  • CouncilOfFriends@slrpnk.net
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    11 months ago

    Here’s just one example, the government reversed the video of this tornado which clearly spilled out of a collapsing wind machine. Joking, but I would wager someone believes that.

  • Snapz@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    That water is gonna STAIN!

  • setVeryLoud(true);@lemmy.ca
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    11 months ago

    Ok that’s a good one.

  • moody
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    11 months ago

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26yOqtgjh38

  • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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    The only tragedy here is that there are people bumb enough to believe this.

    • MehBlah@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I know right? Those bumb people.

    • ColdWater@lemmy.ca
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      11 months ago

      So you don’t believe wind spill all over the farmer’s field?

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