Severance be like:
“I miss my boulder.”
Nothing compares to slow rot and decay of the office. Every day your body slowly grows more decrepit, more out of form. Fingers bending to natural shapes, knuckles becoming knobbed and fingers thin. The slow click clack of the keyboard and shuffle of paper lulling your mind into a soft slumber you dare not take. Your back aches, but you know it’s your fault for not keeping good posture, surely it’s not related to spending god knows how many hours sitting in the same exact spot. Your legs feel numb. What how long have you been here exactly? How many hours has it been? Surely your shift is over now sure the clocks is wrong? The calendar too? Bill from accounting comes to your desk pulling your mind away from this terrifying thought. more office chatter, can’t he see your busy? You have so much work to do, wait, what is it you do again? You’ve been here so long but you still can’t really tell what it is they want you to do. You pretend as long as you can. Papers in papers out, emails read and responded, forms filled. When people ask what you do you give them some vague important sounding title and try to change the subject. How long have you been here…?
I quit and went to trade school. One of the best decisions of my life. “What do I do? Sit the fuck down motherfucker I’m about to get technical. No no, don’t look at Jim, Jim can’t help you now. Alright, SO. You ever use a plastic fork?..”
going remote was literally the best thing that happened in my life and then the pandemic was the best time of my life. I got healthy, started having hobbies again and stopped feeling miserable most of the time. fuck office jobs to hell!
Cruel and unusual.
Inaccurate. Sisyphus would be in an open-office plan.
Naw man, no reserved seating just a docking station
now that’s cruel
Never thought about it, but yeah… Sisyphus would be shredded. 24/7 sitting behind a desk would fuck him up though.
yeah i’d freak out too if i had to go from naked all the time except for my crown to business casual office attire.
I know someone whose job was to print out a PDF, highlight a set field on the PDF with a highlighter (say, SSN or sometning) then scan it back in and shred the PDF. All. Day. Long. Surely pushing a boulder up a hill is better than that
Shred the…PDF?
Probably meant shred the printed paper, but…
To be pedantic, you can shred a pdf
Technology is truly a wonderful thing.
Stuff like this exists because someone doesn’t understand the technology. It’s infuriating, and I have had to deal with similar situations.
I had a job where I needed to interact with a PDF doc that came out every month. The person doing it would print out all 50 pages, someone would sign the last page and she would scan the whole doc back in. So now instead of a useful PDF, we just had 50 pages of pictures.
Ok I blame them rather than general tech illiteracy. Surely you would search “pdf appender” at some point in your life if that was your career.
How long ago was that? I’m an Automation Software Engineer and I feel like I could automate that in an afternoon. Stuff like that grinds my gears.
They couldn’t just… highlight it in software?
Or write a cron job that would do it automatically.
No, the pdf was also just a picture of a document and transparency hadn’t yet been invented
That sounds like too much technology.
Sissyphean with 30 extra steps 😭
If you like this comic, please read the Terry Pratchett short novel “Eric”.
Not the TPS reports!
I have eight different bosses.
Yeah, did you get the memo about the new covers? Yeah… If you could use the new covers for the TPS reports, that would be great…
Wearing clothing for an eternity? 😥
At least I’d be ripped pushing boulders uphill all day.
my pants are ripped after eating so many tacos at my desk
