As a transfeminine person, I started hating men post-coming out. Passing as a woman is what made me at first fear them and then hate them. It’s simple, I never had to throw off a tail from a woman following me home.

I don’t think men realises what they are and what other men are and even I had a hard time realising that it really took being on the “other side” to understand because even before I didn’t fully understand but it’s not like society perceived me fully as a man, anywhere that’s complicated and trans stuff that I don’t want to get into.

Ever since I came out, I’ve had to deal with men approaching the industry and very insistently asking for personal information about me. I’ve also had to deal with them flat out and very grossly asking me to do sexual things to them. I’ve had to deal with being followed in the street, or followed home, as I mentioned. I have been touched in inappropriate ways. And so on.

I don’t like that I hate them, but I feel like it’s more than legitimate. I have a lot of reasons to do. I don’t hate them out of pure irrationality. I hate them out of almost a self-defence mechanism. I hate them because I fear them. They are fucking terrifying and I don’t think they realize it.

It’s also very hard for me to handle because I also do love them, they’re people and I’ve been surrounded by them my entire life and I have learned to hear their struggles and how hard it is for them sometimes too and I know that everything that makes me fear them and hate them, are things that deeply hurts them too.

They have been made that way and in a weird fucked-up way, they are victims of this too. That’s the worst part, and that’s the reason why men get defensive when you call them out on this. It’s because they don’t realize it’s wrong. It’s not out of malicious intent! It’s what they’ve been taught their entire life and are constantly being taught by the rest of society. It’s constantly reinforced into them and it makes them miserable.

It all comes down to the thing that patriarchy is a real thing that affects everyone and that everyone, which includes men, would benefit from it being completely torn down

It’s not that I hate men, I didn’t decide on it. It’s that I started resenting them, for very valid reasons. And that this resentment can sometimes turn into hate, and I’m trying to be careful about this. But that resentment doesn’t come from nowhere. It comes from the experience of being a woman around men. But I also know that this divide is artificial. That it’s not natural. That the reason why we’re feeling like we’re different species is completely manufactured. We’re the same, we’ve just been put on different paths for arbitrary reason. I know because I changed path, I was set on the wrong one.

They don’t know that we’re feeling this about them. They don’t know. They really don’t. They don’t understand it. Every time they approach you in the street, every time they do something fucked, they’re behaving in a totally appropriate way in their mind.

I don’t want to hate 50% of the population, but I do have strong reasons to resent them, sadly. I would say that we have a common enemy to tear down though. I hope we can do this eventually. I want to know what it’s like to be friend with a man without having to worry about what he actually wants.

I’m a dv outreach worker and in my experience this is generally accurate. Women who hate men usually do because of how men have mistreated them. Men who hate women usually hate them because no woman can meet the ideals they have in their head, and cos they were taught to when young.

Yes, and that applies to minorities as well. Trans people don’t hate cis people in a way that they want to forcibly convert, torture, rape, and murder cis people like the outspoken groups of cis people do to trans people. They just want to live a peaceful life.

*NOTE WOMENSSTUFF IS A TRANS INCLUSIVE WOMEN ONLY COMMUNITY

I feel conflicted by this question, ngl.

On one hand, in a general sense I do respect that for very many women who feel this sentiment, it is a determination rooted in lived experience. However, I think even in those cases women should be mindful not to lump all men together with statements like “I hate all men/all men are assaultive bastards”. I have met my fair share of misogynistic chuds, but I also know very many thoughtful and allied men and I find it a shame that they get so readily damned along with the douchebros with such broad assertions. I find it hard to believe that literally EVERY man a woman comes across is a privileged lecherous empathy-devoid cretin. Maybe I’m not attractive enough to have lived the same experience or maybe my resting bitch face is deterring these assholes from trying with me, but more often than not when I go about my business in public spaces it’s a pretty boring affair. On the occasions where someone has stopped me to comment on how they feel about me, in the majority of cases it was respectful, I indicated I wasn’t interested (only ever seems to happen when I am in a relationship, lol), and we went peacefully on our separate ways. And in several cases, it was women commenting on my looks/body, so it’s not just men who are out there peepin. My takeaway from my experiences is that the vast majority of people are fine, irregardless of their gender, and it’s just a small minority of assholes of both genders out there making a bad name for themselves.

In the case of assuming all men hate women because “they rejected me/the patriarchy has taught me I should get my way/etc” I think that is a similarity reductive conclusion. Of course there are some men who feel that way, and I am not arguing that they don’t exist. I am arguing however, that there is no way that ALL men are that way. I am a woman and as such I haven’t experienced a man’s lived point of view on this. But I do know some men who have just genuinely had a super rough time with women and have gotten to a point where most of their experiences with women have been hurtful and extractive. And are their real lived experiences not just as valid as a woman’s? For one of my male friends, he invested a lot of time and emotional care into a woman who was all too happy to entertain him while he was her only option, only to leave him abruptly because “she found someone who she has a real spark with and she just has to follow her heart”. To which he said he understood and let her go. Then she came back to him some time later saying that other guy didn’t work and she wants back with him (they didn’t get back together thankfully). And this is not an unusual occurrence for men, as I understand it. Being strung along as a backup plan for a woman, never good enough to commit to but a comfortable person to milk emotional support out of. While I don’t think it’s fair to assert that ALL women are that way, it’s fair for him to say that his lived experiences with women aren’t all sunshine and roses, and that women are just as capable of manipulating another person for their personal gain, whatever that is to them.

All this rambling to say, I am really tired of seeing these divisive blanket statements. They are damaging to people on both sides of the argument. In my opinion, gender is irrelevant, and the real issue is that people, nomatter their gender identity, are capable of mistreatment and manipulation. We as a society need to hold those specific individuals accountable and take care not to hold innocent people’s feet to the fire at the same time. After all, only the sith deal in absolutes.

I don’t hate, but I would describe my feelings as resentment. And that’s only because I flinch when anyone touches me. And my youth is gone. I do know some lonely people though so I try to compartmentalize it in that way.