Hi those from all! We’re a women’s only community, men we appreciate your interest but please do not comment 😊

  • LeninsOvaries@lemmy.cafe
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    15 hours ago

    I’m worried your post body could make trans men (ftm) feel unwelcome here. Rule 1 is that anyone under the trans umbrella is welcome, so you should probably be careful about language that either excludes trans men, or implies they’re not real men.

    • jsomae@lemmy.ml
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      5 hours ago

      Rule 1 says “any woman-identified person” is welcome here – can you explain how this includes trans men? But I could see bigender people feeling unwelcome from “men … please do not comment” and that’d be bad.

      Edit: nvm, just realized that rule 1 was changed.

      • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zoneM
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        5 hours ago

        I know it can be hard to understand, but trans men sometimes remain members of lesbian and women communities even after transition and may even struggle with their identity this way. Reading Stone Butch Blues might provide some insight, as Leslie Feinberg was precisely one of those trans men who struggled with giving up their identity as a lesbian, and detransitioned and remained on that fuzzy line between man and lesbian.

        This space isn’t here to exclude women like that, even if they are men. They have lived experience as women, they live as women, they might identify as women, and so on.

        Binary trans men who don’t feel the need to continue identifying as women and who no longer have lived experience as women may see themselves as men and not participate based on that rule, but it’s not because they are trans but because they are men who do not feel a need to identify and remain in a community of women.

        Bigender people and nonbinary people who identify as women are likewise free to post and comment here. The rule is meant to create a safe space for women, and we believe people who identify and live as women do not contradict this.

        • jsomae@lemmy.ml
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          5 hours ago

          The rules should be updated to include trans-men then, I think – the rule seems very clearly worded to exclude trans men.

          • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zoneM
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            4 hours ago

            Any woman-identified person under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is welcome.

            ^ this wording of the rule includes trans men who still identify as women. To be honest it hasn’t been a problem, the rules are worded to allow them to choose whether they identify still as women or not and whether to participate here. Binary trans men who don’t identify as women are men, and we would handle that on a case-by-case basis depending on the context. (Trans experiences and identities are complicated. If a trans man feels the need to discuss their life before transition when they lived as a woman, we aren’t going to prevent them from commenting, this is largely a space for people who are treated as women in society afterall.)

            To be honest the rule is mostly applied to cis men who ignore the rules and frequently comment here and sometimes get aggressive. We don’t tolerate transphobia and are not trans-exclusive.

            • jsomae@lemmy.ml
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              4 hours ago

              Fair enough. I’m not trans so I can’t really say whether or not it makes sense. Just surprised me.

      • LeninsOvaries@lemmy.cafe
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        13 hours ago

        Ah. Well, I’m no longer welcome according to the rules as I’m agender, but before I go I should warn you that you could also make bigender people feel unwelcome. I have a friend who’s a man and a woman at the same time.

          • LeninsOvaries@lemmy.cafe
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            13 hours ago

            Right, but your post here says men aren’t welcome, and some trans women are also trans men. Gender isn’t a binary, it comes in infinite combinations.

            • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zoneM
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              5 hours ago

              bigender and agender people who identify or live as women are permitted to post here. This space is intended to be a women-only space, not a transphobic or gatekeeping one. Cis men and binary trans men who don’t identify as women are not women and don’t belong. Bigender people who are men and women are welcome if they choose.