I’m exhausted with one wife’s needs and wants, this man is a neglectful trooper
Yeah, where do these guys find the energy!?? All me and husband did for our anniversary was lay around together because we were too tired to go out and this man had THREE wives!??
They all married him within weeks of meeting him!? Bruh. Dudes dick game must be legendary or women in Florida be Hella desperate.
Yes
Did you see his eyes? He’s a black guy with astonishingly green eyes. That’s enough to make a guy stand out, without his “dick game” even factoring in.
It’s important not to discount that he used charm and love-bombing to manipulate these women. That isn’t a matter of “desperation” - these women were unwilling victims of a con man.
There is a touch of desperation in marrying someone within a few weeks in my opinion, whether you are a man or woman. Takes way more time than that to really know if you’re compatible.
Not to say that there’s a specific time everyone should wait but three weeks is almost certainly too fast if you take marriage at all seriously.
I’m saying these women were manipulated and it’s not fair to assume desperation, or any motive really. I don’t know them, I don’t know their situations, but I was a young woman once and I know what it’s like to be victimized by an abuser, then subsequently blamed for it.
I’ve seen a lot of guys on Lemmy say they don’t see misogyny on here. But when misogyny gets pointed out, it gets dismissed and whatever comment points it out gets buried under downvotes. Guys. This is an example of misogyny, even if it wasn’t intentional. If you don’t see it, let me ask you one thing: why are we accepting the assumption that the victims (women) had a motive and that the abuser (man) was just really good in bed? Do you see how that narrative denies the power dynamic at play, and in fact compliments the man who took advantage of three different women?
I generally dislike approaching such problems with centrism but I think there are two perspectives here that have some truth to them.
-
The dude is undoubtedly a misogynist scam artist that manipulates women and is by no means a decent person. I don’t really care how he manipulated these women, he’s simply a piece of shit for doing it.
-
I can’t remove accountability from these women for making the choice to marry guys like this in a relatively short time frame. It is, in a way, misogynistic and infantalizing to paint women as helpless victims without agency in this type of situation.
Ultimately, though we hope to live in a world where we can trust others, there are many circumstances where we cannot. Personal relationships and monetary transactions are situations where the threshold for alarm bells to go off have to be lower.
I can’t remove accountability from these women for making the choice to marry guys like this in a relatively short time frame. It is, in a way, misogynistic and infantalizing to paint women as helpless victims without agency in this type of situation.
Were you raised to not speak up for yourself? Were you socially conditioned to be held responsible for the emotions of others? Have you ever been like that, and were manipulated by a partner?
I was, for all three of those. Thankfully, I was able to get away from the guy that led me 1000 miles away, using charm and lies. But I was a grown adult, in my 20s, and maybe at the time, I would’ve agreed with you - not only would I not have realized he was deliberately pulling my strings, but I probably would’ve been upset at the suggestion that I wasn’t making my own decisions. But looking back, I can see how little control I really had. Someone can’t give informed consent to a situation that they’re being tricked into, regardless of gender.
The guy in this article used “aliases, manipulations, and love-bombing tactics.” Such psychological manipulation can mess with decision making, especially if paired with pre-existing issues with self-esteem or confidence. I know the power of that manipulation is real because I, and many people (mostly women) that I know, have lived through similar experiences. It’s pretty shitty to tell a former victim that admitting to not having control when being abused is “infantalizing women” and that acKshUally I had agency all along. So many people struggle with feelings of responsibility after abuse, unable to accept that they were misled, unable to believe that they fell for an abusive charmer. To finally come to terms with having been powerless is a huge step and it takes a lot of humility.
So please, just listen to my experience and believe my words. I’m not trying to argue with anyone. I can’t expect anyone who hasn’t been psychologically manipulated to fully understand what it’s like, but it’s important to know that being in that state interferes with rational thinking. The closest thing I can compare it to is highly effective propaganda - the kind that is so good at convincing a person of something, that they don’t realize they’ve been subject to propaganda at all.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I acknowledge that I have privileges I’m not fully aware of that protect me from this kind of manipulation and influence and that is something I’ll have to reflect on more closely.
-
Yeah I’ve been married once.
That was too many so far
I suppose the problem was that it was different counties. Very important detail. I’ll try to remember that.
I’m curious on the exact crime.
if it is marrying multiple people, is it a crime commited in the US if his extra partners never step in the US? otherwise is it prosecuting crimes committed in other countries?
Don’t get me wrong, he deserves jail, but I’m curious on the exact sentencing.
Counties not countries. So different places in the same state.
If you are not familiar with how us states are governed, states subdivide into areas called counties (except for Louisiana which calls them parishes). The county is usually the level of government that tracks court records like marriage licenses.
And Alaska calls them Boroughs.
yhea, my bad, missread it
You might have miss read counties for countries.
“Felony Bigamy” is the charge - which I had to look up myself. But is apparently a thing.
I did made that mistake, sorry
I did made that mistake, sorry
IDK, it’s illegal, and it’s a form of fraud. I think the sentencing should depend on the harm done.
But I doubt that’s what will happen. Because oooohhh Bible…Unless it’s Utah where Mormons get to have multiple wives.
I think you may be confused, they are explicitly forbidden from forming polygamous unions https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mormonism_and_polygamy it was a condition for joining the union.
Do they have any juridical status? Mormons might just live together any that’s it.
That only applies to women and certain children.
No you misunderstood, there are multiple counties in which that man had 3 wifes ! /s
different counties
Well, ya take a map and a quarter coin …
I don’t even live in the US, but the internet has conditioned me to prepare myself for something batshit insane whenever I read the words “Florida man”. What’s up with that?
Florida is our only state where Police records are readily available to the public. Crazy shit happens in every state, Florida is just proud to let us all know about it.
This was common in pre-social media Love Boat times.
Florida man strikes again
