• DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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    1 day ago

    I’m always more concerned by the 30% of humans that don’t think they could take a rat more than the delusional people myself.

    They might be assuming you get weapons or whatever, but 30% of people don’t even have to self confidence to just flop around on the ground for a bit.

  • Seasm0ke@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Chimpanzee is way too high Jesus Christ. It goes from reasonable shot at winning but succumbing to your wounds later to 20x stronger than you and smart enough to go for the sharp bits

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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      15 hours ago

      Yeah, my first thought was that a king cobra should be higher than chimpanzee. Not because king cobras would necessarily be easy, but because it would be possible.

      Beating a chimp would depend on whether a human hit to its head could knock it out or at least stun it, as well as getting such a blow in immediately at the start. But my guess is that their skulls are built differently enough that such a hit would just motivate it more.

  • njm1314@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I mean I’ve been thinking about how to fight geese for a long long time now. I’ve got grudges.

  • michaelmrose@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Why do 5-10% of Americans think they can beat a Gorilla Lion Elephant or Grizzly Bear? Note beat in a fight as in engage successfully in combat. What do they think you are even going to do vs the Grizzly or elephant again?

    Also chimps should be way further down on that list. You’d have a better chance against the wolf.

  • Ledericas@lemm.ee
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    1 day ago

    the dogs you have to worry about is the ones that are known to bite or aggresive.

  • conditional_soup@lemm.ee
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    2 days ago

    If people knew more about chimpanzees, they’d be right down there with bears and elephants. I would 100% prefer to take on a wolf or a kangaroo, taking Aussies at their word about how insane roos are, over a chimp. The chimp probably has just as high a K/D as the bear or elephant, but it’s going to teabag you while wearing the face it ripped off your skull before you go out.

    • CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      At the same time people also murder the fuck out of chimps with fairly primitive tools and have for a long time, what chimps really got on us is that crazy murder energy that you only really see in humans with the aid of PCP. Wouldn’t wanna fight one but in theory its about equivelent to fighting an unbelivably pissed off human.

    • Taleya@aussie.zone
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      1 day ago

      This is one of those moments when you can immediately identify who has and who has not regularly interacted with the animal in question

      • Godric@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        I know right, do geese not exist in England? Or do they have special English geese that weigh 50 pounds and lack wringable necks?

        • Taleya@aussie.zone
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          1 day ago

          this is kinda like mocking Aussie magpies because you only know UK magpies.

          Geese in the UK are all the giant cunt species

    • LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      A goose will back off of you give it a boot to the chest. I’ve fought off a couple of geese and a goose-sized duck and a chest-kick is the best move. Works best of you are able to wind up and use the side of your foot like you’re trying to score a sweet goal in soccer, but a regular punt gets the job done too.

  • Dr. Unabart@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    Would enjoy watching some tough guys try and fight anything from chimp on down.

    “Yeah, bro, I can totally fkn take an elephant!”

    • Madison420@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      It doesn’t say fist fight it says fight. An mg42 some ammo a and a bit of distance are going to win against almost any animal hence the whole multiple extinction events directly caused by predation by humanity.

    • TheOakTree@lemm.ee
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      24 hours ago

      Yup. I mean, you might not survive with this method, but if you just get it to bite your foot (assuming you have shoes) you could just stomp it immediately afterwards.

      Similar story for the eagle - it will definitely leave gashes in you, but so long as you flail your arms and get one decent hit on it (enough to get it out of the air), you would be able to cripple it decently fast.

      I’m realizing I don’t really like thinking about hypothetically beating up animals, though. If they’re fighting you, they’re either scared for their lives, defending their young, or starving to death.

  • recall519@lemm.ee
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    1 day ago

    Some of these are a grey area. I could probably be the last one standing with a wolf, but would likely die later from the damage.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    1 day ago

    I’m pretty confident in fighting most things that are smaller than a dog. Once you get into dog size or larger, things get complicated.

    The largest animal I think I could take in a fight is a capybara. Maybe a manatee; but only on land.

  • Taleya@aussie.zone
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    1 day ago

    In america’s defence on the eagle front, theirs are basically glorified seagulls