I am a social guy, talking to people comes quite natural to me. Therefore I make friends easily. I have had a ton of crushes and was also in love for a couple of times. However I have never had any relationship to speak of (I’m 25, btw), and I feel like I’m missing out on something.
When it comes to relationships I honestly don’t know how people do it. I don’t know what makes someone “like” someone else, safe for their appearance. Or how someone “starts” to see another as a romantic partner rather than platonic. I feel like I only know how to serve friendship. So how do people develop feelings for someone?
For me, “like”, “love”, and “in love” are not separate emotions. They’re the same emotion resonating at different frequencies, for lack of a better metaphor.
“Like” and “Love” are largely hormonal as far as I can tell.
You get along with someone and you want to hang out together, the chemicals in your brain say “hey…this person gets me and I’m happy being around them. I LIKE them.”
You get along with someone, and you want to hang out together, and you’re sexually attracted to them. The chemicals and hormones say “Hey…I really really want to be alone with the person and tell them everything and share my intimate self with them. I LOVE them.”
“IN LOVE” is the one that takes work. Because “IN LOVE” happens long after you’ve started in that relationship. You know their goods. You know their bads. You know what makes them tick and what annoys them. You know what they do that annoys you, and yet you STILL have gotten so addicted to having them as a part of your life that you wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s like the old saying “Yes, we fight. But there’s noone else I would rather fight with.”
They are all one and the same emotion, and where it lands with any one particular person depends on the individual circumstances.