Being married.

Almost had it.

Never. Never have I met someone I think I could spend my life with. Lust sure, life no.

actually having a spouse… 36 years and counting…

Five minutes ago, but she said it would have to wait until later

Almost 20 years ago now, a Scottish woman that was around 10 years older than me (friend of my sister) offered me a marriage of convenience to move to Scotland and eventually get citizenship. I declined because at that point I was a dumbass that still believed South Africa had a future. Regret it to this day.

I don’t 100% separate the concept of spouses with the concept of boyfriends. Certainly if you ask me, a union is a union. I consider what I have with my BF to be equal to that of how people think of spouses. Though it gets complicated because my first BF has been on and off about what we have because him being hospitalized for viral brain issues disrupted our perception on what could count as closure. The semantics of it change like the wind, and it’s not like you can ask someone in a coma how they see a relationship. After that whole thing started, I’ve had five technical boyfriends, technical in the sense that they haven’t gone past a certain degree of relationship-related activity, though only one has really disagreed with me on the first point. I guess the closest I come to being a legal wife then is with the first BF and helping care for him and vice versa.