I am not asking about switches, I’m asking about people who identify with a submissive role rather than a dominant role.

I can understand intuitively why a dominant could feel vulnerable or violated in a submissive role and be uncomfortable in it, but I can only guess how a submissive would feel with roles swapped. And I’m sure these all can change wildly based on each person and their personality.

(This is a slower community, so doms talking about subbing are welcome too, although I’m more curious about the scenario in the title)

  • RepressedLemmier@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
    1·
    5 days ago

    I have only ever done an erp, but my god…did I unexpectedly enjoy teasing the hell out of the other person. And I didn’t want to admit it either, but it was stupid fun (I didn’t get off it myself, it was just sadistic glee).

    I didn’t know it could feel so good.

  • shneancy@lemmy.worldEnglish
    8·
    28 days ago

    not much but there were a few instances where someone tried leading me into dommimg them and it felt- strange. i could mimic what i know doms do, and try to make them feel nice, but none of that came naturally to me, and by the end i was exhausted, glad it was over, and definitely not horny

    there was certainly discomfort to it, but mostly from the part that i guess the person assumed i was a switch (i do like teasing my fellow subs) and before i realised what was happening - they acted really subby in front of me and had me trying to dom them. i took the chance because i did want to try and see how it felt, but the lack of negotiation & assumption i’ve consented to that rubbed me the wrong way

    i like kink because i get to let go of control, doing the opposite felt rather unintuitive

  • RBWellsV23@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
    4·
    26 days ago

    No, but for a very long time I waited to get what I thought was a normal adult woman sexuality, which in my understanding was a take charge, assertive sort of sexuality and was uncomfortable that I didn’t like that.

    I have done a mini-domme thing with a dom and a male sub, it was ok that way. Like he’d say “tell him what to do” and making him do things for us, also making him watch the guy top me but not letting him participate, stuff like that. Only once, I did enjoy it.

    It’s not like I feel threatened or anything like that, it’s more that subby guys turn me off, and I don’t find it sexy to be in charge. I could probably do it as a job, but it wouldn’t feel like sex, more like performance.