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MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today to Greentext@sh.itjust.worksEnglish · 10 个月前

Anon wants to play a game

lemmy.today

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Anon wants to play a game

lemmy.today

MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today to Greentext@sh.itjust.worksEnglish · 10 个月前
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  • CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social
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    10 个月前

    As a former cashier (grocery store not walmart admittedly, but I doubt things are that different), I dont think weird uses for the items are the way to go, the cashier is barely even going to notice or care what you’re buying. what I bring to freak out the cashier, are some item that needs ID to buy, some big heavy item with the barcode removed so that it will take a bunch of lifting and turning in a hopeless effort to find it before someone eventually has to go find another one and bring it over, and a propane refill if walmart does those (at my grocery store the process to go find a full one was a pain, especially in the winter since they were outside). Further, I try to buy these items with the help of a ton of expired and unexpired coupons mixed together, several gift cards, and a stubborn half-deaf old person who wont take no for an answer.

    • Mpatch@lemmy.world
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      10 个月前

      You are a fucking monster. The point of this was to have some laughs not cause a poor walmart employee to beat their spouse or off them selves. Damn you’re cruel.

      • CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social
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        10 个月前

        Hey, it could always get worse. I could also specify that these items are purchased on a Sunday that a locally favored football team happens to be playing a game, during the rush of people buying snacks and soda.

        • AmosBurton_ThatGuy@lemmy.ca
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          10 个月前

          ಠ_ಠ

          ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

          ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

          (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻)

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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      10 个月前

      Would it be more or less frustrating if instead of an old person, it’s a middle aged person who clearly doesn’t understand the language but keeps smiling and nodding as if you’re on the same page and any time you try to prompt for information, they encouragingly push their items towards you or try to pay you in a currency you don’t recognize?

      • CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social
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        10 个月前

        A bit less, partly because it’s easier to be sympathetic to those people, and partly because, in my experience, it can be helped by getting out google translate on one’s phone, if one can figure out which language it is

    • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
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      10 个月前

      How make a cashier consider on the job suicide

    • EvolvedTurtle@lemmy.world
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      10 个月前

      What aisle has the half-dead old person

  • Programmer Belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    10 个月前

    I’m going with the classic:

    Pringles can

    Gloves

    Sponge

    • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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      10 个月前

      Going in dry I see

      • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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        10 个月前

        Once you pop, the fun don’t stop. Shit’s getting chafed up in this bitch

  • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al
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    10 个月前

    Webcam, cactus and KY

    • thenextguy@lemmy.world
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      10 个月前

      You can’t buy Kentucky at Walmart.

      • alester82@lemmy.world
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        10 个月前

        Oh, I thought they sold it by the Florida ounce

      • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al
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        10 个月前

        I hope you are trying to be slick

        • Mango@lemmy.world
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          10 个月前

          Not without the Kentucky he isn’t.

          • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al
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            10 个月前

            SPIT ON THAT THANG

    • OsaErisXero@kbin.run
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      10 个月前

      Swap cactus for mason jar

  • TheOakTree@lemm.ee
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    10 个月前

    How to end up on a watchlist:

    Pressure cooker, nails, prepaid phone

    • perviouslyiner@lemmy.world
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      10 个月前

      Casio F-91W watch, soldering iron, electronics wire.

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      10 个月前

      You’re going to hang up balloons and cook a homemade meal for your SO on their birthday, and surprise them with a new phone

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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    10 个月前

    Kid’s backpack, kid’s lunchbox, and a gun.

    The back to school in America special.

    • BigDaddySlim@lemmy.world
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      10 个月前

    • Flax@feddit.uk
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      10 个月前

      Put the gun in the lunchbox and the lunchbox in the backpack

  • masterofn001@lemmy.ca
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    10 个月前

    Gun, bleach, get well card.

  • Fedegenerate@lemmynsfw.com
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    10 个月前

    Mop, wire coat hanger, pregnancy test.

  • Dudewitbow@lemmy.zip
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    10 个月前

    bleach, ammonia based cleaner, mixing container.

    uh oh, accidental chloramine gas bomb

    reminder people, do NOT mix bleach with ammonia based cleaners to “speed up cleaning”. youll accidentally speed up life

    • ryannathans@aussie.zone
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      10 个月前

      Why doesn’t this happen when I piss in bleach

      • ✺roguetrick✺@lemmy.world
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        10 个月前

        Brother if you’re pissing straight ammonia you’ve got other problems. Your body specifically coverts ammonia to urea because it’s toxic to you and it’s usually bacteria that converts it back.

        • ryannathans@aussie.zone
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          10 个月前

          Urea + bleach also makes chloramines

      • 5oap10116@lemmy.world
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        10 个月前

        It’s diluted

      • moody
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        10 个月前

        It does happen, you just don’t get that much of a reaction because it’s diluted. You definitely don’t want to stick around the fumes that it gives off though.

      • lennivelkant@discuss.tchncs.de
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        10 个月前

        Why do you piss in bleach?

        • ryannathans@aussie.zone
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          10 个月前

          The bottle says no need to flush the bleach before using the toilet

          • lennivelkant@discuss.tchncs.de
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            10 个月前

            Huh, the ones I’ve seen always say to flush thoroughly, and I’ve been told it’s to prevent a potential buildup of residue from clogging the toilet or bursting a pipe. Maybe that’s outdated info, or because of a different formula? Wouldn’t be the first time some old wisdom doesn’t apply to modern products anymore.

            • ryannathans@aussie.zone
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              10 个月前

              Clogged toilets are unheard of in Australia, so don’t know lol

              Can’t see bleach blocking any pipes

  • don@lemm.ee
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    10 个月前

    KY

    inside out glove

    couch

    • ValorieAF@lemmy.world
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      10 个月前

      deleted by creator

    • /home/pineapplelover@lemm.ee
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      10 个月前

      What’s a KY?

      • don@lemm.ee
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        10 个月前

        Lube

      • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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        10 个月前

        Kentucky

  • LunchMoneyThief@links.hackliberty.org
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    10 个月前

    I’m good at this

    Alligator clamps
    Belt
    Laxatives

    Shipping boxes
    Meat cleaver
    Adult diapers

    Birth control
    Bucket
    Bleach

    Night vision goggles
    Fingerless gloves
    Bubble bath

    Massager
    Leather boots
    Farady cage EMP bag

    Zip ties
    Meat grinder
    Swim goggles

    Funnel
    Butt lifting suit
    Rope

    Prescription strength deodorant
    Dog crate
    Sorry for your loss card

    Wooden cross
    Ammo
    Jock strap

    Okay, actually it’s just a script I wrote.

  • SGG@lemmy.world
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    10 个月前

    The easy-way-to-end-up-with-a-police-visit classic:

    1. Plan B pill

    2. Giant “9” balloon

    3. Vodka.

    • Wave@lemmy.ml
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      10 个月前

      deleted by creator

      • SGG@lemmy.world
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        10 个月前

        It’s what some people will pickup before going to a house and getting a surprise visit from Chris Hansen.

  • Flax@feddit.uk
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    10 个月前

    Gun, ammunition, balaclava

    • Threeme2189@sh.itjust.works
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      10 个月前

      Gun ammunition, baklava

      • InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works
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        10 个月前

        Hmmm, a baklava gun.
        Now I want some of that sweet full-auto pastry goodness.

      • Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone
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        10 个月前

        Last meal

    • GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world
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      10 个月前

      This depends on the color of your skin. Anything darker than a farmer’s tan and she’s probably calling her manager over, but otherwise she probably won’t bat an eye.

      • Flax@feddit.uk
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        10 个月前

        Here, terrorists in balaclavas are stereotypically white

    • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al
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      10 个月前

      You ain’t never been hunting have you

  • Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world
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    10 个月前

    I once bought 50 cans of butane. That caused a stir. Managers got involved, I was asked a whole bunch of questions about what I was doing, it was annoying.

    Oh yeah, also had a similar experience with spray paint.

    • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world
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      10 个月前

      I painted my skoolie (used school bus converted to a motor home) with about sixty cans of Rustoleum. It was annoying as fuck trying to buy the stuff at Home Depot. Like, I’m going to go tagging with fucking Antique White spray paint?

      • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al
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        10 个月前

        More like huff yourself to death

        • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world
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          10 个月前

          I’d be better off buying 60 cans of Reddi-Whip.

          • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al
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            10 个月前

            Who has the fridge space for that?!?!

            • Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world
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              10 个月前

              You can simply buy the small charge canisters of them. A twelve pack in about the same footprint as a four pack of beer, and is about 4ish inches tall.

              https://www.amazon.com/Best-Whip-BW-24-Whipped-chargers/dp/B00ZYFD13O

    • Aabbcc@lemm.ee
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      10 个月前

      What WERE you doing?

      • Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world
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        10 个月前

        Making drugs, and graffiti

  • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al
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    I think some of you have never been to Walmart and give the employees way too much credit in the intelligence department

    • TheHarpyEagle@lemmy.world
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      I mean it’s more likely that they just don’t give a shit anymore.

      • merc@sh.itjust.works
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        Yeah, your weird items are probably not even the weirdest the cashier has seen today. And the cashiers are probably barely paying attention to what the items are anyway. They just don’t care. They scan the item, the machine beeps, so they put it on the belt. I bet 90% of the time if you asked a cashier what the last item they scanned was, they wouldn’t have any idea.

        • CurlyWurlies4All@slrpnk.net
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          10 个月前

          This is accurate to my experience when I worked at the supermarket.

        • sockpuppet5@lemmy.world
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          10 个月前

          And that’s what I prefer.

    • Dyskolos@lemmy.zip
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      10 个月前

      Do you feel good being so vastly intellectually superior to those dumb fucks serving you? Must be awesome 😊

      • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al
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        10 个月前

        Removed by mod

  • Maggoty@lemmy.world
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    10 个月前

    Car battery

    Jumper cables

    Duct tape

    If you get a bonus then bleach, lye, or tarp rounds it out. Have fun talking to the local police!

    • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al
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      None of this would attract attention, this is what you would buy to work on an old car. You don’t get out much do you? 🤣

      • Maggoty@lemmy.world
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        10 个月前

        Are you working on the car or doing a patch job until you can work on the car?

        • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
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          10 个月前

          There’s nothing more permanent than a temporary fix.

          • Maggoty@lemmy.world
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            10 个月前

            Yeah that hurts just right.

          • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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            10 个月前

            If you think the mechanics you go to aren’t cowboys, you’re wrong.

            If you think the guy who wired up your home wasn’t a cowboy, you’re wrong.

            If you think the guy you would hire to wire up your home now isn’t a cowboy, you’re wrong.

            It’s cowboys all the way down.

            • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
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              10 个月前

              I’ve inspected enough homes to realize that the people with the least respect for the dangers of poorly-installed wiring are electricians.

        • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al
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          10 个月前

          Depends on whether I’m getting paid fam

          • Maggoty@lemmy.world
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            10 个月前

            Right. I’m just having trouble imagining a scenario that would require a new battery and duct tape but not fasteners of any kind or bolts…

            • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al
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              10 个月前

              How else do you fix a seat belt anchor

              • Maggoty@lemmy.world
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                10 个月前

                Going to an auto parts store? If you do that with duct tape then you’re going to have a very bad time.

                • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al
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                  10 个月前

                  Damn boy woosh

      • Comment105@lemm.ee
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        10 个月前

        Went out once to buy movie tickets, get back to the old big screen to experience it properly again. But it was very noisy and busy so it was more than enough with just the one time.

        • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al
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          10 个月前

          What movie? Casablanca?

    • jagungal@lemmy.world
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      10 个月前

      I’d go for jumpers, tape, and a tarp. Using the car battery makes it seem like your car battery died. Rope would also make it creepy.

      • GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world
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        10 个月前

        That’s also all stuff you can use while working on your vehicle.

        • jagungal@lemmy.world
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          10 个月前

          True, zip ties would also fit in that category

    • Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca
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      10 个月前

      I can never remember; is it the left or right nipple that goes to battery positive??

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