I know this is probably a shitposting meme. And my wife and my female friend, when I asked them, both laughed and said, “Yeah all the time.” I can’t tell if it’s sarcasm.

I asked this because Im a guy, and we’ve heard it all before. The guy plowing a warm apple pie. The ookie cookie BS. The jerk off with a sock. Dudes have done some weird things. I absolutely have found myself relieving some stress in interesting ways.

But veggies: Is this a common thing? Am I going to have to worry that my daughter, when she reaches a curious age, starts exploring with vegetables?

During puberty, should I start giving my children Amazon gift cards or no questions ask money to protect my produce?

I am aware this question is ridiculous and I am prepared to be ridiculed.

  • BarqsHasBite
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    4 months ago

    Hope she washed it off well before putting it back in the fridge. So I doubt the post is real. As for the rest I’ll have to leave it to women to answer. But if you ever find your cucumber in the garbage, just leave it there.

      • @abbadon420@lemm.ee
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        164 months ago

        Yeah, to give it to the rabbits. Don’t waste food

        • @thefartographer@lemm.ee
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          54 months ago

          Ohhhhhh, I didn’t think about that. I considered that the same as “discarded.” But now I feel bad how nonchalantly I was thinking like, “throw the cucumber of joy into the compost or let nature consume it”

          I have a dog who doesn’t like most fruits or any vegetables. I’ve forgotten how easy it is to just give produce to pets such as bunnies or the adorable yet giant Texas desert centipede you and your friend nabbed from Terlingua for his wife.

      • @Rusty@lemmy.ca
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        94 months ago

        Only if you are George Costanza.

        • @BreadOven@lemmy.world
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          34 months ago

          The eclair was more or less floating on top of the garbage. It wasn’t IN the garbage.