I’m finding no matches for this image or some text on it, so it seems like you made this meme and posted it onto a forum which has only a couple of those criteria as its actual rules. Is this just bad faith smear campaigning to stir shit against this community and/or its mods?

Rule 3 is also the only one of these rules that is the slightest bit dubious. The rest are justifiable for most audiences and mod teams, assuming there’d be a reasonable time limit to when reposting would be permissible.

You can speak in goo-goo ga-ga talk but I’ll interpret that active choice of lingo as coming from the mind of an infant

Y-axis?

I have enmity for that first COVID-19 virion that found its way to where it shouldn’t be

What if I’m in my Job era and I think that God hates me more than everyone else?

I understood that much. Take it up with shneancy@lemmy.world for what their interpretation requires.

The set dressing either should have been communicated clearer to not be confusing or wholly omitted.

“call” is a transitive verb.

“from” is a preposition.

Words have meaning. Grammar has a purpose. The joke-teller is necessarily within the store making a call to an unspecified “her” for unspecified reasons and we know this via the rare skill known as reading. Just because a vocal plurality of people interpret a Rorschach inkblot test or a Jackson Pollock painting as a specific message, that does not make those pieces mean anything, let alone any specific one thing or analogous things.

Ok, then a person who uses “her” as a pronoun rather than exclusively a woman.

All other criteria are essential to meet the apparent meaning of the joke.

I fed a hundred 5 star chefs’ dinners to a dog and then the dog shit them out but I still made the dogshit

A fuckup that specifically in line with what the Führer wants is no accident

They adapt into more extreme forms of assholery, whether they recognize it or not

I thought this was an actual photo of Bananarea 51

“According to Darwin’s Origin of Species, it is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that survives; but the species that survives is the one that is able best to adapt and adjust to the changing environment in which it finds itself.”

Counterpoint: I am tired of this earth. These people. I am tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives.

Vine, Tiktok, etc are all just finally sinking into the swamp that is the internet.

They’re already on the internet. Well, except for Vine since that site has been toast for a while now.

you just never participated in the real internet

What does that even mean?

Yes, that’s why the first thing I said was asking if it was meant to be comprehensible because I could not parse a clear and singular intent behind it for reasons I’ve already mentioned. “Incomprehensible” is a genre of media, especially for TikTok.

Nope. I’ve deleted Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit each about 3 years ago. I will give you that Vine and TikTok have historically ticked those boxes, which is why I never had any reason to use them. Companies found that more engagement means more ad money and more sellable user data, and content that is problematic or superficial tends to provide more engagement, or bad actors intentionally poison the well of content for their own agenda. People also bring that profit-motivated content onto other sites, including sites without a profit motive. Yes, there definitely were these problems everywhere online since the beginning, but the way they breakdown our language, ways of communicating, and understanding has been manufactured to become more severe.

I’d understand the scenario and perhaps even find it funny if the joke-teller were to provide the essential context

The joke is so poorly phrased that you inverted the roles of who is shopping

It’s relatable to only a small percentage of people (fraction of people who are interested in relationships with women, subset people who are in relationships with women, subset people whose women partner is phone obsessed, subset people who cannot independently shop for groceries, subset people who while grocery shopping have had their women partner fail to answer her phone, subset people who have this happen routinely or significantly enough to even notice or care). You will see others saying that it’s relatable but that will just be confirmation bias.

And for each person who has experienced this, they only once could have experienced it as the image describes since black holes do not relinquish the matter they absorb. Who even would be in a relationship with somebody who is both on their phone 24/7 and be short distance enough to share groceries? The hyperbole is too literal and becomes nonsensical rather than comedic.