A: Hey bud, this house is probably gonna need a new roof soon. the foundation is all eaten up. Those pipes are still lead. There’s asbestos in the walls. And you’re right next to a waste water treatment plant. Maybe you should look for anoth—

B: No I like it. The door is my favorite color.

A: Color? I mean, you can paint any—

B: No no, this is the one. It has a red door. Nothing else matters.

Sorry Texas, I know I shouldn’t laugh.

Any American willing to fight Europe is a piece of shit, especially if it’s your job.

I keep saying “concentration camps” but most people don’t seem to hear it. This time, instead of burning them, they will be monetized.

We have a way to deal with Nazis already. It worked before and it can work again.

I feel like this article is about 25 years too late.

Either way, rent will go up to eat it all away.

Bet you he flees the country when shit gets rough

To be fair, most Americans do fall for things pretty easily when all they have to do is literally nothing

10 more years! So excited for water world! Kevin Costner is 70, so realistically he could be alive to see fiction become reality.

He’s just going to bring it back rebranded and collect all the congestion penalties for himself.

Trump Anti-Congestion Bill

That orange face paint certainly does make more sense now.

It’s like four percent, five percent, it’s just, you know, very low. It’s very sad. And the people in Ukraine, the good people, they just want him gone but he won’t leave. He has only six percent of the voters, but he still won. That’s a lot of voter fraud. Very sad.

I don’t know about that because the American people, they know. They elected me twice with the biggest voter turn out in history. Maybe it will be more the third time? Who knows, maybe I will be king of Ukraine.

Gucci just needs to come out with bullet proof vests. They won’t work for shit, but all the republican women will buy one.

Maybe Banksy was driving

I’m glad this turned out to be legit. I had wallet out on day one of this campaign.

Chances are they’re gonna have a warrant, and whatever they find in your home will probably be from outside anyway. Who knew you had a manifesto?!

I do think until people are actually being arrested for this, it’s just fear mongering.

It’s to keep that one guy who wants to audit insurance companies from getting elected.

It’s not inept. It was theft. Successful theft.

There’s a reason why they won’t get on one.

Yeah but Elon doesn’t have any more pain receptors. He can just go until he bleeds out.