𝕊𝕞𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕞 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕔

Smackem Attitude is the only thing on the menu

Beans on toast has piss in it??

PLAYSTAYSHON

Should be mandatory on most news sources these days given that the Washington post is completely controlled by fuckin papa bezos

Damn, next line being “the only thing that’s real” is 100% factual in this situation

Absolutely, that’s their one major source of bias. They lean mildly to the left, but I’m very much okay with that given what “leaning right” means these days

Oh maybe garlic sauce!

But the decent garlic sauce that gets put on shawarma, not the stuff that’s mostly mayonnaise

Nah I just kinda mixed Lebanese and mayonnaise

More credible than most US media conglomerate news sources

Is Lebanaise an instrument?

Thank you

2. How to employ a legal adviser
3. How to exercise in a gymnasium

WHERE’S THAT LEMON STEALING WHORE

The second filthiest one, bezos

Compared to the others, I’d say it’s half decent

Ah you’re mistaking yourself for Boners OfTheMoon

They have the BIGGEST sex life

You face towards the toilet, stand right on the toilet seat, and aim the shit directly into the water.

That gives you highest drop distance for maximum splash sound and maximum bitches.

Oh you’d hate to know about how when you shit sitting down you get Poseidon’s kiss.

That’s why I shit standing up like a real man