Ivysaur

This is actually so…I don’t have the words for it. Feeling a pit in my stomach. The combination of the picture and the “temporarily closed” when they know full well what’s going on just makes me want to cry.

I think disabled is fine to refer to someone, at least that’s how folks in my circles think. Everyone is different of course. I am happy to hear it from your party; it has been nearly impossible for me to find any safe or accessible events, political or otherwise- mask blocs are pretty much the only thing I can safely attend anymore- and my wife and I advocating for me usually falls on deaf ears at best. What tends to happen is people we knew just stop hearing from us, but it’s never really our choice. No one seems to interrogate this which feels very bad. It’s one thing to stop showing up to various events due to lack of accommodations, it’s a whole other thing to realize your friends and loved ones just wouldn’t care if you disappeared.

I am feeling very bummed-out. I am more and more acutely aware of my alienation from those who are ostensibly my comrades because the intersection of disability seems completely absent from every corner of life. Covid has only furthered this contradiction that I unwisely tried to ignore and push through in my younger years. The assured influx of avian flu outbreaks will strain it even more. I need to know organizers and my able-bodied peers will not continue to completely ignore us in favor of an unsustainable status quo even they can’t seem to acknowledge, but I will be disappointed. If you have gotten this far in my ramble, thank you- please don’t forget about your medically vulnerable comrades in your learning and practice.

I shouldn’t be surprised anymore. Invidious instances are being hit too.

What happened to Nitter?

Nothing ever changes and it is pointless to try- got it

This is exactly how I feel as a covid-aware disabled person living in current reality. I have had genuine crises of ideology through it. Myself and people like me have, in effect, been abandoned by all, in whom as a communist I place the utmost confidence for radical positive change, and that is such a fucked up contradiction to navigate. I have watched friends and friends of friends die and continue to die to this shit as the world moves on and tells us we are in the wrong and actively punishes us for caring, and those of us not lucky enough to remain to struggle easily forgotten.

I have no faith in anyone anymore, especially not in the imperial core and especially not after witnessing the fallout of last October. Not after seeing everyone go back to brunch in '21 throwing any semblance of community care and public health away. Not after being in the summer of '20 George Floyd riots in my city and seeing in real-time the BLM movement co-opted and defanged right in my backyard. It feels like more and more of a depraved and hopeless situation in the western world- and most of all in the US- to me.

It’s not in my nature to stop resising, as I’m sure can be said for you, too. I said it elsewhere and I’ll say it here: as long as I’m alive and able, I’m not going out without giving these people hell to pay and I will never stop doing what I can for the struggle and what little of my comrades in that struggle remain that I can cling to. I owe no less to myself at the very least; you owe it to yourself. We are correct, and that has to amount to something in the end.

“I know that after my death a pile of rubbish will be heaped on my grave, but the wind of History will sooner or later sweep it away without mercy.”

I agree. I see things going catastrophic by the end of the decade.