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tromars@feddit.de to Programmer Humor@lemmy.ml · 2 年前

Ideas for programming rizz?

i.imgur.com

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Ideas for programming rizz?

i.imgur.com

tromars@feddit.de to Programmer Humor@lemmy.ml · 2 年前
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  • Caveman@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    I forked an opensource project to add a couple features for my wife. 😊

    • some_designer_dude@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      And? Did she accept your, err, pull request? 😏

      • Caveman@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        “LGTM, merged” 😏

        • dukk@programming.dev
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          2 年前

          Remember kids, always use protected branches.

          • dodslaser@feddit.nu
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            2 年前

            Pushing directly to main just feels better.

            • doppelgangmember@lemmy.world
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              2 年前

              I prefer “master”

          • lseif@sopuli.xyz
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            2 年前

            and remember, no means no. if git doesnt want you to merge, dont --force it

            • Quik@infosec.pub
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              2 年前

              *dont --force it, you mean.

              • lseif@sopuli.xyz
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                2 年前

                is that not what i said ?

        • mac@lemm.ee
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          2 年前

          😂

        • doppelgangmember@lemmy.world
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          2 年前

          Divorce be like, merge conflict, divergent branch…

          Lol

    • Apathy Tree@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 年前

      This is the kind of love I need in life 💜

      So cute! And practical!

    • agent_flounder@lemmy.one
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      2 年前

      For half a second I read this as “to add a couple of features to my wife”

      • The Ramen Dutchman@ttrpg.network
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        2 年前

        Plankton, from Spongebob, would.

    • Caboose12000@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      this is actually cute as hell

    • lemonadebunny@lemmy.ca
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      аҧсуа бызшәа
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      2 年前

      Well, where’s the fork?

    • MajorHavoc@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      That’s true love.

    • jelloeater@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      That is so wholesome ❤️

    • mryessir@lemmy.sdf.org
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      2 年前

      Are you One of the holy masters mentioned on the credits page yet?

      *lowershisleftknee*

  • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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    2 年前

    “Girl, I named no variables after you, because you’re my only Constant”

    • bob_wiley@lemmy.world
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      deleted by creator

      • JuxtaposedJaguar@lemmy.ml
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        2 年前

        Because you’re generic and everyone’s initialized you at some point

        • _g_be@lemmy.world
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          2 年前

          Everybody’s init? Sounds just like her

    • (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻@programming.dev
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      2 年前

      smooth 👍

    • Supertramper@feddit.de
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      2 年前

      You’ll need an exception handler for all those dropping panties.

    • TerryTPlatypus@beehaw.org
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      2 年前

      “Girl, you are my Two’s Complement, you’re always my plus one on any occaision”

      Cuz if you invert the bits of of a binary number and add one you get its negative number, so your girlfried is an equal part of you

      • agent_flounder@lemmy.one
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        2 年前

        Damn son save some for the rest of us.

    • fkn@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Sadly only the compiler will know the true value of my constexpr forLove;

  • geekworking@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    You can also combine your names into a Linux distribution.

    Deb + Ian = Debian.

    • SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml
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      2 年前

      I bet they’ve broken up since

      • MrothersInArms@lemmy.zip
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        2 年前

        The word “Debian” was formed as a portmanteau of the first name of his then-girlfriend (later ex-wife) Debra Lynn and his own first name

        Wiki

        • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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          2 年前

          “Later ex-wife” is like three tenses of information at once.

          • Brahm1nmam@lemmy.sdf.org
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            2 年前

            Peak efficiency

        • SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml
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          Debra must be so pissed by now

          • hansl@lemmy.ml
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            “I’m sorry you merged WHAT upstream? No I don’t care if there’s a new glibc out there, the one we have works just fine.”

            • 𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬@lemmy.ml
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              2 年前

              This explains a lot.

      • andrew@lemmy.stuart.fun
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        2 年前

        Had tons of kids though. Have you met the buntu family?

    • Stefen Auris@pawb.social
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      2 年前

      Literally came here to say this lol

  • cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works
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    2 年前

    Pay for dinner

    • MajorHavoc@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      For being a sick burn, that was ice cold. I love it.

    • Caboose12000@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      lmfao savage

    • Leo_agiad@sh.itjust.works
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      2 年前

      This man fights in the shade.

  • ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works
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    Once when I was still a kid, I told a woman I loved her so much that I could only love her more if she was a robot.

    She did not think that was romantic.

    • UnRelatedBurner@sh.itjust.works
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      there are so many things wrong with this

      • Caboose12000@lemmy.world
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        I think it’s kinda sweet for a kid. I mean what’s cooler than a robot when you’re 7? that’s pretty much the pinnicle of “cool” at that age, or at least it was for me. So to compare a crush to a robot for a kid is similar to shakespear comparing thier lover to “a summer’s day” or Selena Gomez comparing thier lover to “a love song”

        • ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works
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          I, uh, wasn’t 7. I was about 10 years older than that and just dumb.

          • Jerkface@lemmy.world
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            Look, I’m a grown-ass adult and have been for awhile. If someone said that to me now I’d start shopping for an engagement ring.

            • ech0@lemmy.world
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              2 年前

              I love you so much I think you’re way cooler than a robot!

              Now put a ring on it. And I want a diamond.

              • Jerkface@lemmy.world
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                2 年前

                you’re way cooler than a robot

                See, that’s how I know it’s a lie 🤣

          • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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            2 年前

            So, less a “kid” and more “almost adult”. Yeah, I can see that being taken as very weird or creepy

        • tehmics@lemmy.world
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          I don’t think we’re far off from 7 year olds being entirely unimpressed robots. They’ll just think it’s a dumb vacuum

    • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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      2 年前

      I met someone who looks a lot like you, she does the things you do, but she is an IBM.

    • wviana@lemmy.eco.br
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      2 年前

      'Cause I’m just thinking about tearing you down to check how your insides works.

    • SatyrSack@lemmy.one
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      2 年前

      I just want to make out with my Marilyn Monrobot!

  • naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 年前

    I was thinking about you when I cleaned up this codebase and removed a lot of redundant functions.

    • float@feddit.de
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      2 年前

      That sounds more like breaking up.

      • QuazarOmega@lemy.lol
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        2 年前

        The employee that left the mess was already long gone unfortunately

      • Llewellyn@lemm.ee
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        2 年前

        DuH

  • EmperorHenry@sh.itjust.worksBanned
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    Removed by mod

    • axce@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 年前

      Debian too!

      • s_s@lemmy.one
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        2 年前

        Deb & Ian

        • iturnedintoanewt@lemm.ee
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          deleted by creator

          • Tb0n3@sh.itjust.worksBanned from community
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            Not a happy ending. Better than reiserfs, though.

            • QuazarOmega@lemy.lol
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              2 年前

              What’s the story behind Reiserfs?

              • Cupcake1972@mander.xyz
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                2 年前

                Guy murdered his wife and buried her near their home.

                • QuazarOmega@lemy.lol
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                  2 年前

                  Goddamn, I didn’t see that coming

                  (poor taste joke)

                  I guess she won’t be reising from the dead

                • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
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                  2 年前

                  But, has had support for his creation purged from the kernel.

        • Baut [she/her] auf.@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          2 年前

          Deborah*

          • s_s@lemmy.one
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            2 年前

            “Debra”

            Deb is short for both spellings.

      • larvyde@sh.itjust.works
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        and MySql, believe it or not

        (well, it’s his daughter, not s.o., but still a loved one)

        • wviana@lemmy.eco.br
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          2 年前

          Sorry. English is not my first lang. Is there a name that sounds like mysql?

          • QuazarOmega@lemy.lol
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            2 年前

            At first I thought it was simply a play on the pronunciation, as in “MySQL” (my sequel) would be “my child”, but… nope “My” is literally his daughter’s name

            source

            • fox2263@lemmy.world
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              2 年前

              And we can’t forget MariaDB

              • a Kendrick fan@lemmy.ml
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                There’s also a MaxDB named after his son, guy’s a genius.

          • locuester@lemmy.zip
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            Flysequel

    • _Sc00ter@lemmy.ml
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      2 年前

      I work for an international conglomerate. One of our major pieces of internal software is SUSAN named after the guys wife. I’ll never remember his name, but his wife will always be in my mind

      • blurryeyes@lemmy.world
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        Yours too? She gets around

    • RagingRobot@lemmy.world
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      Photoshop too believe it or not.

      • alekwithak@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Lol what?

        • wviana@lemmy.eco.br
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          2 年前

          Just like debian. Photo and Shop

          • QuazarOmega@lemy.lol
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            2 年前

            When light kissed the building amidst of the darkness of this grim world, I literally cried, better love story than Twilight

    • J12@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Siri was Steve Jobs’ mistress

      • SatyrSack@lemmy.one
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        2 年前

        I thought Siri was an existing third-party app and Apple just acquired the company and built it into the OS.

      • EmperorHenry@sh.itjust.worksBanned
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        Removed by mod

    • Trobador@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      On-Line Systems was renamed Sierra On-Line in 1982, and moved to Oakhurst, California.[6] The “Sierra” name was taken from the Sierra Nevada mountain range that Oakhurst was near

      • Wikipedia page for Sierra Entertainment

      You may be thinking of the fact that it was founded by a married couple, Ken and Roberta Williams, with the latter being among the first prominent female game designers.

    • wviana@lemmy.eco.br
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      2 年前

      Suse too believe it or not.

    • wviana@lemmy.eco.br
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      2 年前

      Microsoft too believe it or not.

  • saltesc@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    I send my wife code she has nfi idea about but knows I’m proud so she pretends to be impressed.

    I win her heart over by making life much easier through technology and handling all that shit. When she can grab a PS4 controller, hit start, and sit on the couch, she knows not all ladies get their TV and sound system on, all inputs adjusted, game mode set, and Nintendo Switch home screen come up ready to launch Zelda.

    “Babe, I could IFTTT the lights to drop to a gaming atmosphere and have your phone go into DND mode if you want. Just let me know.”

    SPLOOOOOOSH

    • ObliviousEnlightenment@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      I am jealous of your wife

      • Redredme@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Mine isn’t impressed with stuff like that. It’s been like that since we’re together. It’s the normal.

        These days she just rolls her eyes when another new thing gets automated.

        • Comment105@lemm.ee
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          Makes me wonder if one of you are a smooth operator while the other is the captain of the jank tank.

        • no banana@lemmy.world
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          Just take it away for a week.

  • Jtskywalker@lemm.ee
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    I made a website for my wife with a list of a ton of reasons why I love her and each time she taps the screen it shows a new one.

    So… that is a thing you can do for the cost of a domain name and some cheap hosting.

    • wviana@lemmy.eco.br
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      2 年前

      How many reasons did you code into it?

      • Jtskywalker@lemm.ee
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        I don’t know, I’d have to check the database. I add to it every once in a while so it keeps growing. I think I started with around 20 or so

        • sic_1@feddit.de
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          2 年前

          Aw man that’s so cute! Great idea, hope she appreciates it.

        • SnowBunting@lemmy.ml
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          2 年前

          Do you check the list to make sure there aren’t any repeats?

          • QuazarOmega@lemy.lol
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            2 年前

            Me when
            When I fail my DSA course

          • NewAgeOldPerson@reddthat.com
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            2 年前

            Ask an artist that

          • Jtskywalker@lemm.ee
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            2 年前

            Yeah, just manually

        • etler@programming.dev
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          2 年前

          deleted by creator

  • stephfinitely@artemis.camp
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    2 年前

    This person misunderstands a beautiful function code can be very sexy or maybe I’m a odd girl.

    • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
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      var LogicGate = map[string]string{
          "OR": "OR",
          "AND":  "AND",
          "NOT": "NOT",
          "NOR": "NOR",
          "NAND": "NOR",
          "XOR": "XOR",
      }
      
      func isLogicGate(inString string) (bool) {
          _, ok := LogicGate[strings.ToUpper(inString)]
          if ok {
              return true
          } else {
              return false
          }
      }
      
      func stringAsGateLogic(inString string) (bool, error) {
          inSplit := strings.Split(inString, " ")
          var phrase1 strings.Builder
          var phrase2 stringa.Builder
          var gateString string
          for word := range inSplit {
              if isLogicGate(word) {
                  if len(gateString) < 1{
                      gateString = word
                  } else {
                      phrase2.WriteString(word)
                  }
              } else {
                  if len(gateString) < 1{
                      phrase1.WriteString(word)
                  } else {
                      phrase2.WriteString(word)
                  }
              }
          }
          boolPhrase1 := bool(phrase1.String())
          boolPhrase2 := bool(phrase2.String())
          switch strings.ToUpper(gateString) {
              case "OR":
                  return (boolPhrase1 || boolPhrase2), nil
              case "AND":
                  return (boolPhrase1 && boolPhrase2), nil
              case "NOT":
                  return (!boolPhrase2), nil
              case "NOR":
                  return (!(boolPhrase1 || boolPhrase2)), nil
              case "NAND":
                  return (!(boolPhrase1 && boolPhrase2)
              case "XOR":
                  orRes := (boolPhrase1 || boolPhrase2)
                  nandRes := (!(boolPhrase1 && boolPhrase2))
                  return (orRes && nandRes), nil
              default:
                  return false, fmt.Errorf("Why you do dis?: %v", inString)
          }
      }
      
      func main(){
          answer, err := stringAsGateLogic ("This person misunderstands a beautiful function code can be very sexy or maybe I'm a odd girl.")
          if err != nil {
              fmt.Println(err)
          }
          fmt.Println(answer)
      }
      
      • deegeese@sopuli.xyz
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        2 年前

        Sorry, Hungarian notation is not beautiful.

        • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
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          2 年前

          Fair.

      • qaz@lemmy.world
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        2 年前
        if ok {
            return true
        } else {
            return false
        }
        

        Why?

        • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
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          2 年前

          Idiomatic Go way of checking for the presence of a key in a map.

      • QuazarOmega@lemy.lol
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        2 年前

        You make want to cry, when are we marrying?

        I want a divorce

        • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
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          2 年前

          Sorry, merge conflict :(

      • wallmenis@lemmy.one
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        2 年前

        isLogicGate is not used. Maybe you mean to place it in “isGate” in the stringAsGateLogic for loop’s if statement?

        • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
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          2 年前

          Thank you. That’s what I get for writing a drawn-out shitpost program on my phone over several hours while away from home, instead of in a few minutes in vim.

          • AVincentInSpace@pawb.social
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            2 年前

            Speaking of, Vim is actually quite easy to set up on Android. Simply download Termux from F-Droid (the version of Termux on Google Play is severely out of date) and pkg install vim (or nvim if you prefer). (Also, full aarch64 linux terminal on non-rooted Android, woo!) Using Vim with an onscreen keyboard is agonizing, of course, but it does work (Termux provides the Ctrl and Esc keys). The F-Droid app Unexpected Keyboard is a recommended addition – it’s an alternative on-screen keyboard with no predictive text and swiping to the corners of each key for alternate symbols. It makes using Vim on a touchscreen at least moderately less painful.

    • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net
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      2 年前

      From one odd girl to another, I think both can be true

  • efrique@lemm.ee
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    2 年前

    git branch testing.stephanie.slept.with.my.friend.brad

    • SpaceCowboy@lemmy.caBanned from community
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      2 年前

      Pull request rejected.

      • _bug0ut@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Pull off request, on the other hand (ha-HA!), approved.

        Not like that bitch Stephanie is gonna be helping out with that anymore.

      • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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        2 年前

        Man, I’ve never seen such a rapid succession of git pull and git push

  • halvar@lemm.ee
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    2 年前

    Name a linux distro after her and yourself. Always works.

    • heliosef@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Found the Hannah Montana user

    • supert@lemmy.sdfeu.org
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      2 年前

      I also thought of Debian.

    • Qyuzu@lemdro.id
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      2 年前

      Or a Linux Mint a version if he is a main contributor.

  • moog@lemm.ee
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    Sure, but at least they won’t be afraid of commitment.

    • polite_cat@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      It’s gonna be awkward though if there is a merge conflict 👀

  • cyberic@discuss.tchncs.de
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    Image Transcription: Twitter Post

    bass boosted ACAB @lil_morgy

    hooking up with artists is hot cuz theyll be like “i thought of you when i wrote this song”. what are tech guys gonna do? name a git branch after you? the fuck

    [* I am a human volunteer and you could be too ❤️*]

    • TheGreenGolem@lemm.ee
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      2 年前

      Good human!

    • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net
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      2 年前

      Do you know if there’s a place where image transcribers on Lemmy are congregating, or are you just doing this independently?

      • cyberic@discuss.tchncs.de
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        We started a Community https://discuss.tchncs.de/c/transcribersoflemmy. But we’re small and helping out as we can.

        • CommunityLinkFixerBotB
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          2 年前

          Hi there! Looks like you linked to a Lemmy community using a URL instead of its name, which doesn’t work well for people on different instances. Try fixing it like this: !transcribersoflemmy@discuss.tchncs.de

    • tromars@feddit.deOP
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      2 年前

      I knew I forgot something when posting, thank you! Good human

  • bear_with_a_hammer@lemm.ee
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    deleted by creator

    • snowe@programming.dev
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      2 年前

      Turns out Lisa has a crippling bug that bricks your computer.

      • R0cket_M00se@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Why do you think I named it after that bitch! Lol

    • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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      2 年前

      Might be odd, depending on your current system.

      GeDoSaTo 0.21.2310 “How Could Hell Be Any Worse”

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