Internet police here. Stay calm, hands where I can see them. Now, this is how this is gonna go: there isn’t much I can do now as I wasn’t personally here 7 hours ago when you called but I’ll make sure to jot down some loose notes on this here notepad while I take your declaration. Then I’m gonna go ahead and misremember it all when I write a report no one will bother to read… Maybe put up some cameras around for next time, I don’t know. Just remember, we’re here to help.
Too bad you can’t say “fuck” on the Internet
Oh no, now you’ve done it! I’ve reported you to the Internet police!
Internet police here. Stay calm, hands where I can see them. Now, this is how this is gonna go: there isn’t much I can do now as I wasn’t personally here 7 hours ago when you called but I’ll make sure to jot down some loose notes on this here notepad while I take your declaration. Then I’m gonna go ahead and misremember it all when I write a report no one will bother to read… Maybe put up some cameras around for next time, I don’t know. Just remember, we’re here to help.