- cross-posted to:
- technology@lemmy.ml
- technology@lemmy.zip
- cross-posted to:
- technology@lemmy.ml
- technology@lemmy.zip
Kohler unveiled Dekoda, a $599 toilet sensor that uses a tiny camera and spectroscopy to analyze bodily waste and provide health insights[1][2]. The device clamps onto the toilet bowl rim and monitors hydration levels, bowel movements, and checks for blood in the toilet.
Users sign in with a fingerprint sensor before use, allowing multiple household members to track their individual data through the companion app. The system requires a subscription costing between $70-156 per year[1:1].
“Kohler Health isn’t just another app or product. It’s a promise that your home can play a more active role in your well-being,” said CEO David Kohler at the launch event[2:1].
The company emphasizes privacy protection through end-to-end encryption. The camera uses “discreet optics” aimed only at bowl contents, not body parts[1:2]. The technology works best with light-colored toilets, as dark bowls can interfere with the sensors[1:3].
Dekoda represents Kohler’s entry into the digital health space, joining other smart toilet sensors from companies like Withings and Vivoo that appeared at CES 2023[2:2].
What the actual fuck is going on in this late stage capitalist hellscape?
This is supposed to be a hilarious Adult Swim infomercial not real.
I just saw this very recently so it immediately came to mind.
Seems like a lot of work.
We should do this giant corporation a 1 on the bristol stool scale, which is to say a solid, just individually mail them every shit we take, every day.
To any and every property they operate out of ideally.
I’d genuinely be down. Anonymous mail is easy.
And checks for blood in the toilet
Petty sure I don’t need a toilet camera for that.
Most of the time there’s blood in your stool, you can’t physically see it. That’s why you usually need to send in a stool sample to determine that.
But… and hear me out… what if you’re extremely gullible?
It can detect that too? I guess I better get one then.
Hemorrhoid sufferers will have that thing going crazy.
For that price I can probably hire a Groom of the Stool.
This is simply not enough data for me, I’m holding out for the device that analyzes the content of my poo with mass spectrometry so I can really tell what’s going on. /s
I would actually buy that
What a bowl of shit
Worse, you have to provide your own shit! 💩
Turdies not included.
When drinking the verification can is not enough.
Please eject verification can.
So long as it is tiny I guess. I don’t like anything too big going into my anus.