cw: TERFs and general transphobia
For the most part, I avoid Reddit like the plague, but when I’m feeling sad, I find myself going on r/terf_trans_alliance, and then I feel worse.
I don’t know what drives them to participate, but the minority of trans posters are ridiculed, subjected to abusive comments, and mass downvoted for any attempt to get through to them in a way that isn’t absolute self-flagellating placation. Some things I noticed after just a minute or two of scrolling:
spoiler
- The term “TRA”
- Accusations of male socialization, with some gaslighting when trans people try to discuss their personal experiences about their upbringings that do not fit the narrative
- Accusations of “mansplaining”
- Assumptions that trans women are predatory
- Assumptions that trans women have an entitlement complex
- Accusations that trans women conform to rigid misogynist stereotypes, but also that trans women are too masculine to embody what they identify as
- Assertions that trans women defending themselves need to accept male privilege, comparisons to white fragility
- The comparison of being trans to a cultist religion
- The insinuation that upvotes or kind words “shields trans people from reality”
- Casual references to trans women, whether indirectly or directly to trans commenters/OPs, as men or males
- The likening of trans women to white supremacists
There’s this stereotype that Reddit is this liberal echo chamber, but I seem to know all of the many places where it’s not, and I seek out those places when I know they’ll hurt me.
For those of you just on Lemmy, what are your strategies not to stray back to Reddit?
6·3 days ago- Lemmy is libre federated Reddit. What more do you want? You don’t need the shitware that Reddit runs or its toxic communities.
- TERF-trans alliance? I used to imagine the idea that, in a million-monkeys way, there was bound to be a small “trans 4 Trump” contingent on Twitter. Later I heard about Caitlyn Jenner’s politics, and the reification of the unlikely took its innocence. You know well enough to stay away from those groups.
- If you’re looking for transphobic self-flagellation, there are many routes you could take that don’t endanger the community. There are shows - one person recommended Sex and the City, and the recent Ed Gein streaming series seems to make some reprehensible parallels between us and serial killers, despite the queer tastes of its creators. You could also get into an abusive relationship and get called an ugly fag that roleplays as a tranny, like the last relationship I was in. You could make a Grindr profile and call yourself a “sissy” to attract the wrong kind of people, and don’t forget to mention you have a high pain tolerance.
- We all love you and support you in spirit. The impetus to make decisions that are right for you is ultimately on you, and if it’s an issue of self-control, therapy isn’t a bad idea. I’m in therapy to address my feelings of lonelines, failure, and emotional/empathetic/relationship maintenance inadequacy. Whatever you do, you will probably be fine.