cw: TERFs and general transphobia
For the most part, I avoid Reddit like the plague, but when I’m feeling sad, I find myself going on r/terf_trans_alliance, and then I feel worse.
I don’t know what drives them to participate, but the minority of trans posters are ridiculed, subjected to abusive comments, and mass downvoted for any attempt to get through to them in a way that isn’t absolute self-flagellating placation. Some things I noticed after just a minute or two of scrolling:
spoiler
- The term “TRA”
- Accusations of male socialization, with some gaslighting when trans people try to discuss their personal experiences about their upbringings that do not fit the narrative
- Accusations of “mansplaining”
- Assumptions that trans women are predatory
- Assumptions that trans women have an entitlement complex
- Accusations that trans women conform to rigid misogynist stereotypes, but also that trans women are too masculine to embody what they identify as
- Assertions that trans women defending themselves need to accept male privilege, comparisons to white fragility
- The comparison of being trans to a cultist religion
- The insinuation that upvotes or kind words “shields trans people from reality”
- Casual references to trans women, whether indirectly or directly to trans commenters/OPs, as men or males
- The likening of trans women to white supremacists
There’s this stereotype that Reddit is this liberal echo chamber, but I seem to know all of the many places where it’s not, and I seek out those places when I know they’ll hurt me.
For those of you just on Lemmy, what are your strategies not to stray back to Reddit?
I use uBlock Origin and add reddit to the filter list. I also have blocked reddit using my
/etc/hostsfile.I have also setup redirector plugins that can be used to redirect when I go to a particularly toxic subreddit, e.g. redirecting something like /r/terf_trans_alliance to /r/sewing or whatever community you enjoy that is more wholesome (that’s just one of mine - I also love /r/OUTFITS).
Also, if you’re in the US you should probably be using a VPN no matter what, and in that case Reddit will (usually) block you, easy!
Mostly it’s just psychology, though - why do you go to read that place to hurt yourself? Are there healthier ways to hurt yourself?
content warning: self harm
Sometimes when I want to cut and beat myself, I will instead go into a stress position like a plank, and then I’ll hold it until it really hurts and my impulses to self harm are “satisfied”.
You might consider if there are harm reducing alternatives like this for you?
I’m not sure what that might look like for you, since it’s particular to your psychology, but there are plenty of places to find transphobia, hell you could self-flagellate by watching Sex and the City episodes.
Even better would be to find ways to work on the underlying reasons that motivate you to hurt yourself, in the long term that’s where the focus should be, I would imagine. Maybe something to see a therapist about?
I never really thought about doomscolling as self-harm, but that makes perfect sense. The plus side is I can sort of repurpose all my old coping strategies in that case. I used to be way better with digital minimalism, but then 2025 hapened. Definitely worth finding a therapist about once I’m on my wife’s health insurance in a few months.
Thank you for the advice :)