in other news: are mitsubishi and tesla involved in global ecstasy sales?
I personally have a theory that they are indeed supplying pill manufacturers with high quality presses.
Most high quality pills (not talking about contents) I have seen beeing confiscated in night clubs are branded with car or fashion brands.
So maybe they are targeting people when they have a high happy hormone output.
Like: woah that mitsubishi is making me feel soooo great and suff.
Oh god the new Tesla’s are so strong.
Sounds like something marketing departments would get off on.
I thought I was clicking through to a satire site. Da fuq is this.
It can be one of three scenarios IMO:
A: Elon is being particularly dumb and actually produced and distributed drugs with his logo.
B: The Trump Regime created and planted these drugs to manufacture a reason to prosecute Elon.
C: Some drug distributor is a huge fan of SpaceX, or wants to deflect investigation away from their other operations.
…the world being the way it is, all three seems pretty damn plausible to me. 😕
I assumed it was elons personal stache for parties and shit
D: They’re branding their coke the same way that MDMA pill pressers will stamp real logos on their product to market it (without permission, of course). They usually don’t do this with coke, but it’s not unheard of.
It’s D
I remember this from Pablo Francisco’s Mitsubishi Ecstasy story hehe
definitely c. you ever seen shitty weed packaging thats an obvious reference to Rick and Morty, trump, etc? looks like that culture has made its way to cocaine now
I used to put Mario stickers on the mushroom bags that I never sold.
Defo not sponsored by Nintendo
So you say… We all know how Nintendo would deal with snitches
I figure it’s a bit more like option C, with a bit of knockoff mentality going on. You know how you can find pictures online of super cheap knockoff merch from like China or some African countries? That’s what I’m thinking is going on here.
Probably C. Elon would be more into ketamine than cocaine.
It’s a week’s supply for his basic bitch business major execs
Plane full of drugs crashes. Police are still investigating if it was involved in drug trafficking… what?
Musk switching away from Ketamine?
The cocaine is going to straighten him out and making him more normal.
This would actually make a lot of things start to make a lot more sense compared to any non cocaine related explanations. If it is real, it’s definitely not just Elon.
Kash Patel? Stephen Miller?
I love how they have to note it was “fake space x packaging.” I don’t believe that for a second. This was probably elons weekend stash and he is going to be quite upset.
SpaceX W H A T
MDMA pills are often branded with various logos from all sorts of companies and IPs (without permission, of course), so I imagine it was something similar to that.
Orange teslas were great. Not seen them in about 6 six years though.
Oh phew
The plane was registered to Zambia
checks out. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_Africa–Zambia_relations
Foreshadowing for the next launch.
oh no, Elon’s weekly supply!!
Phew, at least the SpaceX branded ketamine got through.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
How do they know it’s a fake spaceX packaging? Seems legit to me.
Wow! I wonder what will happen to those 178kgs of cocaine they found!
It wouldn’t even surprise me if some of the 150kg of cocaine went missing.
Someone really ought to take care of the 120 kg of cocaine.
80 kilos of cocaine is quite a lot, it really should be disposed of safely.
good thing 40 kilos is exactly what fits in the evidence room
Now, to find out who was going to receive those 20kg of cocaine
All got burned with the plane on crashsite
Just like the weed we found sir, it was also burned, in very small portions.
Well there goes Elon’s Doordash. Definitely not getting that $10 tip now.
This is ridiculous.
Elon never tips.
Not entirely true, he’ll tip if you carry his baby to term. Sometimes he’ll even tip in horses.
Federal police are still investigating whether the aircraft was involved in drug trafficking
Um…
finally an article that’s oniony beyond the headline
Maybe it was just for personal use
Musk’s personal stash
- Kash Patel on Epstein trafficking girls
Looks like a whole weeks supply. He’ll be devastated
those tweets are not going to hit the same spot without this
It was headed to a Coca-Cola factory. They are adding it back along with real cane sugar.
It was medicinal cocaine!
i mean, the dental industry goes through it pretty fast. or was that the opthamologists
I’ll have to ask my eye doctor about cocaine eye drops
iirc it’s to immediately staunch bleeding during eye surgery. or oral surgery. maybe both! as you can see all i remember is that cocaine drops exist as legit medicine
Just Teddy still funding those wars in South America.
