This First Person column is written by Onome Ako, who lives in Mississauga, Ont. For more information about First Person stories, see the FAQ.

[…]
I almost deleted it. Wrong number, I assumed. The voice continued: “I’m calling to wish her a happy birthday.” My stomach tightened. This individual has completely skipped my daughter’s first given name — Morenike — and replaced it with her middle name. A name she never goes by.

That moment stung. Not just because it was wrong but because of what it symbolized: a quiet but deliberate erasure of identity.
[…]
Culturally, our names tell a story. When you hear a name, you can determine the circumstances of birth and the hopes and the dreams for the child.

I wanted my daughter’s name to carry strength into the world. I wanted her to hear it spoken aloud and know she was seen and cherished.

But in classrooms and schoolyards in Canada, in appointment reminders and birthday invitations, her name has been shortened, misspelled or replaced entirely. Once, I was asked — with what I can only describe as polite disapproval — why I gave my child a name like that in the first place.

It’s a question that says more than it asks. It says names like hers don’t belong here. Comfort is valued more than accuracy. Belonging is conditional.
[…]

What are First Person columns?

First Person columns are personal stories and experiences of Canadians, in their own words. This is intended to showcase a more intimate storytelling perspective, and allow people from across the country to share what they have lived through.