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I have thoughts inside my brain that I can’t say online, nor to anyone around me because… um… legal repercussions.
But I wanna say the French seemed to have a great time in 1789, I wish I had their happiness.
My therapist thinks I am stuck in an unhealthy and unfulfilling life because I don’t take action so we set up a goal that I would clean my room and apply to jobs. Well I did the first one but my car is breaking down so I don’t think it is wise to apply to jobs I can’t get to at the moment. And yet I feel like I am just making up excuses like I always do. This has me feeling pretty down lately. My therapist also asked if I was using my diagnoses as an excuse no to change. Which I don’t know how to answer since depression and anxiety both directly impact my thought processes. I am discouraged by my past failures and feel low when I think about them and the current state of my life so I developed the habit of not thinking about it much. Is that using my mental health as an excuse or a direct result of my mental health. I don’t know. So yeah that’s me this week.
Fighting depression is hard as fuck. Every muscle and bone in your body will tell you to give up, it’s too hard, it’s not worth it, etc. But it’s definitely worth it. Good luck.
Set aside time for reflection (what goals are working and what aren’t), and celebrate the fuck out of even the slightest win. Cleaned your room? That’s fantastic. Don’t hold off on being proud of yourself until you’ve completely turned your life around. You have to truly convince yourself that each small step along the way is really a huge victory. Then, start getting addicted to those wins. It’ll work out eventually.
Could be better, could be a lot worse. Yesterday I was working on my engineering paper feeling on top of the world; today I’m completely out of energy because I have to get my car inspected and it’s like 10 years old and I’m terrified it will fail.
The duality of being autistic with ADHD 😆😂😭
Not bad. Struggling with some PTSD flashbacks this week that I thought I had handled, so I’m really looking forward to therapy tomorrow. I know it will help. Otherwise everything is going great and I’m feeling very lucky lately. I hope everyone else is having a nice time too.
