Had this recently on lemmy! Someone pointed out a grammar error in my post title and I explained I was neurodiverse. Another user mansplained how to use apostrophes and lectured me on it not being an excuse. I politely pointed out the issue is not being able to see properly on a white background and issues distinguishing characters etc. So he just didn’t reply.
Like I’ve never been taught at home, school, googled it, picked it up from other users etc. I needed his patronising wisdom!
Aw I’m sorry that happened! sounds really frustrating and some people will nitpick anything. Lemmy is the only social media I’ve been on which seems to be mostly men. it’s a little alienating sometimes!
Yep I’m guessing it’s cos it’s techy people heavy. Lots of men in tech after all
The funniest thing there is that techies are absolutely terrible at communication. Just read any manual written by an average techie that’s supposed to explain how their technology is supposed to be used. Ignoring spelling and grammar errors (which can be sizable in number!) the ability to actually organize information in ways that can be followed is decidedly lacking.
I work in a very male dominated office and profession. We have a young lady who occasionally gets things mansplained to her and she will use the loudest “Janice from Friends” type of nasally “Woooooooooow” over and over disrupting his explanation until he just turns and walks away.
All the guys on our team love it and find it hilarious. We also find ways to slip in our own “Woooooooooow” when talking to that guy over a few days just to drive the point home.
hey there, thanks for your comment and for backing up your colleague! Unfortunately this community has a rule that only women are permitted to comment, so please don’t make further comments in /c/WomensStuff. Hope you understand! 💛
My apologies, I didn’t mean to intrude. Just thought it was a unique and obvious way to get rid of someone by making it awkward for them. Figured I’d pass it along.
No worries at all, it happens all the time - just wanted to raise awareness. 😊
Thank you for backing her up!
The longer their self important waffling is, the funnier it is to reply with “ok”
totally gonna do that now 👍 😂
I wonder if responding with surrealism would also throw them off.
<insert long mansplain here>
<perky voice> I’ve got new socks on!
Mansplained. Whitesplained. Westsplained. You name the 'splaining and I’ve probably faced it. In person my most common reaction these days is to just walk away from the conversation, without warning, without a word.
- “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKSHUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLY you should try doing <marketing 101 grade suggestion that we started doing six months before> …” and I just walk off to my desk, or the kitchenette, or the bathroom. No engagement whatsoever for them to view as some kind of reward.
Online? It’s even easier: block early, block often.
I am in a field that is more than male dominated. Maybe half a percent of people doing what I do are women and it can be rather technical at times (I am a machinist), so it is impossible for me to count how many times I have experienced it.
Depending on intent and tone, the response varies. A few of my favorites:
- Blaring “Baby Shark” over their voice.
- A condescending “That’s nice”
- Explaining the issue back to them in more detail than they could manage
- Just walking away
I just adopt that last one these days. Walk away. Ignore them.
I’ve been working on the habit of instead of getting frustrated or impatient, I take ownership of the interaction. I used to say things like “yeah I know” or “I’m aware” but now I’ll say “that’s correct”. If it’s not actually correct I’ll do some um actually… of my own. If they don’t get the hint from “yes, that’s right” I’ll just interrupt them and bring up whatever actual topic is the reason keeping me in the interaction. I’ll ask a pointed question about something I genuinely need more information on, regardless of how unrelated it was from the original topic. If there’s no reason to continue the conversation, I’ll say “alright I should get going/actually I need to focus on this/I’m trying to get this done” and just entirely disengage or leave.
Maybe I seem eccentric, weird, bitchy or unusual but there were plenty of other clues.
I know a few people who do it. I’m not sure what to do. One guy, it seems like that’s the only tone he knows, and he’ll lecture me about whatever the topic of conversation is. It’s like he imagines a strawman and then argues against it.
My dad does this almost every single time we talk. Ignoring him doesn’t work, correcting him doesn’t work, he’ll just not acknowledge I’ve said anything if he doesn’t like what it is.
If the issue is important enough to correct him on, I have my husband repeat what I’m saying. That seems to work. The words need to be attached to a penis in order to be understood.
This also works in other contexts. If I’m ever too exhausted to take on someone like that head on or they just refuse to listen to me, the only real solution I’ve found is to have another penis holder make my point for me. Some people will not budge no matter how clearly out of their depth they are, unless someone they respect is talking.
