a.k.a. Vampire Shadows

Shira

Shira, half-human, half-vampire woman warrior skilled in the deadly ways of the Samurai. She has been prophesized to breed a future nation of day walking vampires and Kristof, a fiendish vampire will stop at nothing to capture her. Shira and her fellow vampire hunters must defeat Kristof and his army of blood-suckers.

Imagine you and your stunt people friends wanted to make your own self-financed ripoff of Blade, but more Japanesey. Get some Halloween makeup and press-on nails, give everyone at least 6 different jobs to do, and only hire one actual actor, Bill Shatner’s partner from T.J. Hooker. Mix in a lot of Highlander The Series -style flashbacks. Include a comic relief that is often funny precisely because he’s just so bad at being comic relief. Shoot it on video, tack on some opening and closing titles not quite as good as an Atari Jaguar game from the 90s, and you have Shira: The Vampire Samurai.

At 2.7 stars on IMDb, this may be the lowest rated film I’ve ever seen, but honestly, I’ve seen even worse. At least this has a fair smattering of “laugh out loud at how bad it is” moments, and Adrian Zmed to break up the wall-to-wall wooden performances of stuntfolk trying to act. He even gives us an “authentic” vampire accent and lingo; turns out his parents were Romanian.

In the words of the comic relief: “Beleee dat!” {Believe that} (Yes, he has a catchphrase, and it even encapsulates his borderline offensive stereotyping.)

Info

Trailer

Full movie

Shira baring fangs
Shira baring her fangs

bejan amini
In addition to being the grip, P.A., sound recordist, a ninja, a goth, a samurai and more, this guy also plays the most laughable Nazi war criminal/Nosferatu ripoff you’ll ever see.