• commie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    10 days ago

    the church of subgenius worships Bob, but there is no evidence he ever existed as a man or otherwise (except the fact that he has worshippers)

    • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      edit-2
      10 days ago

      “Bob” exists, he’s just dead! He was assassinated on stage by a lone gunman named D. Woodman Atwell (later identified by the Hinkey Commission) in iirc 1989 (or was it 1986?).

      But he started our dear church in 1953, while working on a television set of his own design he was shocked and given a vision of JHVH-1, the evil alien from some corporate sin galaxy who pretended to be all the gods of the past in order to TAKE OUR SLACK! He made a deal with the X-ists to sell them the planet, but also to Rupture up all dues paying SubGenii before the fires and damnation start on July 5th 1998 (which hasn’t happened yet because the calendar you know is a lie) so you can enjoy it from the safety of the PleasureSaucers.

      1290

        • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          edit-2
          10 days ago

          Slack is not a program/service, they stole the name in a pathetic attempt to entice SubGenii. When that failed, they set their sites on besmirching the good name of our most basic need by associating it with them. It’s a tool of The Conspiracy, nothing more.

          What is Slack? Well, if you have to ask, you’ll probably never know. Put most simply, Slack is something for nothing.

          Ironically, Slackware is SubGenius. It was created by a SubGenius in iirc '93, “Bob’s” face is seen in the belly of a Tux on the Slackware official site.

    • chaogomu@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      10 days ago

      Bob is also the only religious figure who guarantees to save your soul or triple your money back on proof of damnation.

  • Sunsofold
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    10 days ago

    People might not assign Bobs magical properties, but they do just fine in getting people killed.

    Robert E Lee - Confederate general

    Sir Robert Peel - ‘Father’ of modern policing

    Robert Mugabe - Former revolutionary and president of Zimbabwe

    Baron Robert Clive - helped set up East India Trading Co

    Various Kings and would-be Kings Robert - found all over Europe, can’t even guess how many literally died ‘in the name of’ these Bobs

    Etc.

  • Uriel238 [all pronouns]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    edit-2
    10 days ago

    To be fair, its not Jesus or Muhammed, but the massive ministries that propped them up as icons for rallying power.

    And classical history features plenty of other divine images and massacres in their name.

    Humans are suckers for it, especially in hard times and mass precarity. And that’s the problem we have to fix if we want to be a serious contender civilization.

  • I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    10 days ago

    I would send this to people, but the “We Fucking Love Atheism” watermark would make me seem cringy as fuck, so I will not.

    • Keineanung@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      9 days ago

      Hehe, yeah I had the same dilemma before posting. I found the image in an old folder from my “blunder years”, but it was too good to not share anyway.

  • RejZoR@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    10 days ago

    Duno, BOB in Overwatch 2 has killed me several times. Bob is a menace.