If you are not neurotypical, especially if ADHD and/or ASD are involved, you’re not and never will be “like other people”.
I try and remind myself about this. But It fucking sucks that some people diagnose themselves with ADHD, but have no problems doing stuff. Then I have to fight my mind and not compare myself to other people. Irl, I guess you just have to suck up, I remember my boss telling me I was a disappointment compared to my colleagues. People suck.
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
Oh okay, I didn’t know about this. I will check this out in detail.
If, like many with ADHD including myself (this was a fun thing to become aware of well into adulthood), you are not super comfortable with your emotions and/or have alexithymia (trouble identifying, describing, and expressing ones own emotions), it could be useful to find an emotion wheel or feelings wheel.
I think I understand my feelings most of the time, but I do have difficulty controlling them.
I have had trouble explaining why I can’t sometimes work for more than 15-20 minutes, but I’ve always attributed that to stress anxiety. Like my body and brain just stop and refuse to work all together untill I shake that feeling off.
Thanks for the very comprehensive answer internet stranger, I appreciate it. The feeling wheel and DBT are something I’ll check out.
I thought I did too but just had trouble communicating them. It turned out that I had overestimated my comprehension. Practice has helped me a lot.
but I do have difficulty controlling them.
Something that I’d caution is that framing altogether. Emotion is part of our experience as humans and an integral part of our consciousness. Controlling our emotions (with exception of those with conditions like Bipolar PD that need help with emotional stability) is not the best goal. Emotions are important, involuntary, and frequently serve evolutionary purposes.
The more healthy way to look at it is addressing how we react when we experience our emotions. That is something that we do have control over. Those of us with ADHD often have trouble with emotional dysregulation (kind of a misnomer, IMO, as it is more about managing reaction to experienced emotions), which makes it more of a challenge. It is still possible though with practice (and accepting that failure is part of the process).
Thanks for the very comprehensive answer internet stranger, I appreciate it.
You’re very welcome. If I’ve helped yourself or anyone else in the slightest, I am delighted.
I try and remind myself about this. But It fucking sucks that some people diagnose themselves with ADHD, but have no problems doing stuff. Then I have to fight my mind and not compare myself to other people. Irl, I guess you just have to suck up, I remember my boss telling me I was a disappointment compared to my colleagues. People suck.
Oh okay, I didn’t know about this. I will check this out in detail.
I think I understand my feelings most of the time, but I do have difficulty controlling them.
I have had trouble explaining why I can’t sometimes work for more than 15-20 minutes, but I’ve always attributed that to stress anxiety. Like my body and brain just stop and refuse to work all together untill I shake that feeling off.
Thanks for the very comprehensive answer internet stranger, I appreciate it. The feeling wheel and DBT are something I’ll check out.
I thought I did too but just had trouble communicating them. It turned out that I had overestimated my comprehension. Practice has helped me a lot.
Something that I’d caution is that framing altogether. Emotion is part of our experience as humans and an integral part of our consciousness. Controlling our emotions (with exception of those with conditions like Bipolar PD that need help with emotional stability) is not the best goal. Emotions are important, involuntary, and frequently serve evolutionary purposes.
The more healthy way to look at it is addressing how we react when we experience our emotions. That is something that we do have control over. Those of us with ADHD often have trouble with emotional dysregulation (kind of a misnomer, IMO, as it is more about managing reaction to experienced emotions), which makes it more of a challenge. It is still possible though with practice (and accepting that failure is part of the process).
You’re very welcome. If I’ve helped yourself or anyone else in the slightest, I am delighted.