So, I’m a pretty average-height guy…5’7” / 170 cm. Not tall, not short, just… there. My feet, however, did not get the memo. They are gigantic. Size 15 UK / 16 US / 51 EU. Which means I leave footprints that suggest someone much larger (or possibly Bigfoot) passed through, got spooked, and took off running.

People always comment. First, the double-take. Then: “Whoa. Those are… big.” And finally, the classic: “How do you even find shoes?”

Badly. That’s how.

Shoe shopping for me is like searching for an ancient artifact. Store clerks disappear into the back, only to return shaking their heads, as if I’d asked for a unicorn saddle. “We might have one pair in the back…” And what they bring out is always tragic…some orthopaedic dad sneaker the size of a small canoe, usually in a shade best described as “beige disappointment.”

For a while, I tried to hide it. I slouched. I crammed my toes into size 13s like a Victorian woman chasing a terrible beauty standard. I even considered custom shoes until I saw the price and briefly thought maybe barefoot life isn’t so bad.

But now? I’ve embraced it. I don’t tip over easily. I get extra legroom on buses just by existing. And when people ask about my shoe size, I just smile and say, “Great for swimming.”

  • blind3rdeye@lemm.ee
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    3 hours ago

    I honestly thought that maybe Lemmy wouldn’t have karma farmers, since there is no global points tracker. But here we are, with an exact copy-paste of an old post being presented as though it is a authentic sharing of personal thoughts.

    Why do this?

  • sfled@lemm.ee
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    3 hours ago

    Well, you know what they say about men with big feet: large socks. </shitpost>

  • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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    9 hours ago

    What is it with people on Lemmy and “I’m [height] with unusually [shoe size] feet”?

    It’s like how Firefox’s homepage almost always recommends an “article” about hearing aids.

  • niktemadur@lemmy.world
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    12 hours ago

    Like a guy said to me in college:
    “Man… if you lived during the Flintstones, you’d be driving a sportscar.”
    Yeah, that was one I’d never heard before, I had to shake the guy’s hand and congratulate him for originality.

    • tomenzgg@midwest.social
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      10 hours ago

      This and the guy with the small feet. I can’t tell if I just browse Lemmy too much but I swear I’ve seen their posts no less than 4 times reposted.

      But I never see anyone say anything about having seen them before.

    • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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      12 hours ago

      It has. And iirc, someone found evidence it wasn’t the actual person at all, which makes this post incredibly unlikely to be real

      • anarchiddy@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        17 hours ago

        Really? His account is 2 months old and this is his first actual post, unless he switched accounts recently or I just can’t see the full history from my instance for some reason

        I don’t even know why someone would do that, but it’s just striking me as weird

        • Agosagror@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          15 hours ago

          Yeah but looking at his comment history, I saw a series of replies to a post about his feet from a couple of months ago. Where he was the OP and the post was deleted.

    • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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      8 hours ago

      LLM training, I’m sure there’s a shit ton of it happening on Lemmy as they don’t need to ask for permission and I keep seeing posts about things that will for sure generate engagement and that gets deleted 24h later. I even called out the OP every now and then, every time they swear that’s not what it is, every time the post and account are deleted 24h later.

    • /home/pineapplelover@lemm.ee
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      17 hours ago

      Yeah it has. Though, not sure if it’s the same exact picture. If it is, could be OP stole it from the original post. Maybe actual OP created a new account and reposted this.

  • GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip
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    20 hours ago

    Back when I was a teenager there used to be some schoolyard folklore that feet size was related to dick length (being half as long as your feet). Anyway congrats on that waterhose, king!

      • shalafi@lemmy.world
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        18 hours ago

        Dick length somewhat correlates to height which correlates with big feet. OTOH, I’m 2-inches shorter and longer than average. Go figure.

        Stretch you thumb and forefinger as far apart as you can. Measure. Report back. Mine’s on the money.

        • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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          15 hours ago

          Flexibility probably plays a role. I have Ehlers danlos and I get a 180 degree angle on that joint. I don’t have a dick, so I can’t report back, but my gap is over ten inches and I have to imagine I’d have longer fingers if I’d been born a dude (men are generally less flexible, but can still get EDS).

    • JealousdonkeyOP
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      20 hours ago

      I mean not as drastically as my hands and feet tbh. But I think it’s bigger than you’d expect for my height and build!

      • Monument@lemmy.sdf.org
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        18 hours ago

        That’s a great answer, but I’d like to proffer “Why don’t you find out?” as a response - assuming appropriate context, situation, and preferences, of course.

        People will know you as the man with swagger as big as your … feet!