So I had the most blasphemous dream about Easter and cheese.

This church, you know the one, had an Easter party. They had the tomb, and when the wheel was gone Jesus would come out and greet Mary. The wheel was a giant wheel of cheese and everyone got to take like five pounds to fondue right there and five pounds to eat later (my dreams end with everyone happy most of the time) but like there was still a lot of cheese this was the first time we did this and the wheel we got could feed like, maybe me and one other dude who likes cheese. Did I mention I like cheese I mean I’m dreaming about a big fucking wheel of it. We’re talking six month supply, seven feet across five feet high fuck I was trying to go to sleep and then I started telling a story about cheese now I’m hungry dammit. Anyways, this big fucking wheel of cheese, we bought too much, if such a thing as the concept of too much cheese can exist and I argue it cannot. But anyways that’s why Jesus isn’t back, it’s because we couldn’t finish the cheese at the Easter party.