A human on a leash walks past another human on a leash. They lock eyes on their t-shirts.

“Team Jacob sucks!”
“No, Team Edward sucks harder!”
“Jacob sucks the most!”
“Edward was sucking before Jacob was even born!”
“Jacob sucks more in a single year than Edward sucks in several extended lifetimes!”
“Edward sucks full time though, whereas Jacob only sucks part-time!”
… etc