Some idiot told me that I don’t talk like a woman, that I talk like a man. Not that my voice sounds masculine (it doesn’t) but that I “use masculine words or phrases” what the fuck does that even mean?
If there’s a better community to post this please let me know and I’ll delete this and post it again there.
Edit: They aren’t a man, they’re a woman. She definitely gave off the JK Rowling TERF vibes though.
I’m guessing you have the audacity to speak more directly and unapologetically. For example, if you were at the table and you needed the salt, a stereotypical polite man way to say it would be “Pass the salt, please.” And a stereotypical woman way might be “sorry, can you pass the salt, please?”
I’m not sure how deep this person’s thoughts go, but she might be expecting some more “squee,” cutesy or baby type phrases, said with a higher pitch instead of speaking with fewer qualifiers in a flatter tone.
Men on average seem more aggressive, more willing to interrupt, more direct, less apologetic, and less expressive and do less emotional labor. They also demand more physical space, and are much more willing to take or move into women’s physical space.
These are traits and behaviors that might make someone feel you’re more “masculine” - but these are traits women can embody as well, as ZDL points out, it’s not an essence. While some of it probably relates to our biology (which is more varied and complex than most realize), a lot of the behavior is from social programming, e.g. based on the social norms around us and the way we are raised as kids and so on.
Still, someone might think a woman is “masculine” or “butch” for behaving “like a man”. That’s just the social context we live in, how gender is manifesting.
Better said than me. Noticed this type of thing even more blatant during my career progression in a male-dominated field.
absolutely, it’s enough to make you want to avoid those fields - it can feel so hostile and toxic