This reminds me of a joke:

So this guy is drinking at the bar after work, and he has a few too many and ends up puking on himself. He says, “Shit, when my wife finds out I got this drunk, she’s gonna kill me.” The bartender says, “I know how you can get out of it. Take a twenty out of your wallet and put it in your shirt pocket. When you get home, tell your wife that some other guy puked on you, and gave you the twenty to cover the dry cleaning.”

So the guy decides to try that. He gets home and, sure enough, his wife asks him what happened. He says, “I went to happy hour with some coworkers, and some guy that looked like he’d been there all day threw up on me. He gave me twenty dollars to cover the dry cleaning bill.” She says, “Why do you have forty dollars, then?” He says, “He also shit in my pants.”