I don’t agree that’s the point of DV shelters. The entire point of them is to be a way for victims to be separated from their abusers. It’s entirely a short term solution to a long term problem, but it’s a step that is needed to be able to have a long term solution, regardless of the gender of the victim. Not being separated from the abuser means that the victim is primed to further abuse, or be convinced that escape is impossible.
All the other services are available to both genders for sure, but that’s because most of it isn’t DV specific in the first place (putting aside divorce lawyers at least).
The issue I’m saying is that the first step is the most crucial and virtually a prerequisite towards a solution, yet there are zero facilities for men in the entire country? Maybe it’s different now, but at least it wasn’t in 2013, though I’m not knowledgeable enough on the subject to know. But you would think that at a minimum, there should be at least one such facilities in every major city in the country, right? Even if can only handle two or three people at most, with a part-time assistant to help the victims.
There’s a massive difference between being underfunded, and having zero resources, and that’s what I think is the biggest problem. It’s not about being poorly funded, or poorly serviced, but a complete absence that’s the same as saying that this isn’t an issue, despite police reports themselves saying that it certainly is.
A complete absence of funding isn’t the same as saying it isn’t an issue. At a government level there’s always more problems than money and manpower to solve them. Approaching it from that perspective is not a particularly healthy way to approach these situations. Realistically when you look at the the two cohorts you see very different behaviours. Funding for all shelters is currently massively declining across the board in Canada and no one pilots a new program when existing ones are failing.
Think of it like this. If you do not fear for your life but are escaping from an abusive relationship with child in tow what sounds like a better option : seeking help by going to a friend’s or relative’s place where there’s familiarity and seeking help from an authority for assistance OR going blindly into a shelter system with a lot of unknowns? While it’s true that men do need support seeking help from a formal shelter system is not a popular option.
The reason why women don’t tend to rely on their existing support systems is because it’s the first place abusive partners stalk if they intend a violent attack, not just an abusive encounter but an actual physical assult that puts other family members and friends lives at risk.
Hotel voucher programs and reserved open spots in pre-existing shelter systems do a similar solve to contemporary shelter programs but the reason mens shelters close isn’t always funding related. In part it’s because men don’t often choose that route because a restraining order is usually more than enough to deter a female abuser and it is more comfortable relying on people you know. In the cases of DV homicide women are way more likely to be killed if they leave, men tend to be killed if they stay. It’s not a matter of just dry DV stats. It’s in the nitty gritty details of how these scenarios play out by gender divide that cause these initiatives to fail… which means it needs dedicated grassroots support which by and large isn’t happening not because people won’t donate but because while straight men love to complain that there’s no mens shelters they are not coordinating dedicating their free time to make it happen. Queer specific initiatives are generally more successful because the organization structures are dedicated and they often do not rely on government but community support. What straight guys need to imbibe is you do not need a government stamp to start stuff.
I’m not denying the need for them for women, or that it’s greater, or that there are also issues with the existing shelters or anything. It’s just that half the entire country’s population is denied a form of emergency service just because it’s less critical for them.
Look, I did a quick search, and found listings for womens’ shelters that maxed out the listings I found in several different cities. More shelters than the service I used could show. But there are zero such services for men? Across the entire country? When 20% of reported cases are for men?
Look, I’m just trying to say that why isn’t there at least one per province or something? Why isn’t there a single half-baked part-time shelter anywhere in the entire country? It’s a complete abandonment of an entire demographic compared simply being underfunded. It’s like if there was zero funding going towards prostate cancer because breast cancer research was a higher priority.
It’s the difference between trying your best with what little you got against not even trying at all because you have differing priorities. One is a sad story, the other is abandonment, and that’s what I think is so terrible about it.
I don’t agree that’s the point of DV shelters. The entire point of them is to be a way for victims to be separated from their abusers. It’s entirely a short term solution to a long term problem, but it’s a step that is needed to be able to have a long term solution, regardless of the gender of the victim. Not being separated from the abuser means that the victim is primed to further abuse, or be convinced that escape is impossible.
All the other services are available to both genders for sure, but that’s because most of it isn’t DV specific in the first place (putting aside divorce lawyers at least).
The issue I’m saying is that the first step is the most crucial and virtually a prerequisite towards a solution, yet there are zero facilities for men in the entire country? Maybe it’s different now, but at least it wasn’t in 2013, though I’m not knowledgeable enough on the subject to know. But you would think that at a minimum, there should be at least one such facilities in every major city in the country, right? Even if can only handle two or three people at most, with a part-time assistant to help the victims.
There’s a massive difference between being underfunded, and having zero resources, and that’s what I think is the biggest problem. It’s not about being poorly funded, or poorly serviced, but a complete absence that’s the same as saying that this isn’t an issue, despite police reports themselves saying that it certainly is.
A complete absence of funding isn’t the same as saying it isn’t an issue. At a government level there’s always more problems than money and manpower to solve them. Approaching it from that perspective is not a particularly healthy way to approach these situations. Realistically when you look at the the two cohorts you see very different behaviours. Funding for all shelters is currently massively declining across the board in Canada and no one pilots a new program when existing ones are failing.
Think of it like this. If you do not fear for your life but are escaping from an abusive relationship with child in tow what sounds like a better option : seeking help by going to a friend’s or relative’s place where there’s familiarity and seeking help from an authority for assistance OR going blindly into a shelter system with a lot of unknowns? While it’s true that men do need support seeking help from a formal shelter system is not a popular option.
The reason why women don’t tend to rely on their existing support systems is because it’s the first place abusive partners stalk if they intend a violent attack, not just an abusive encounter but an actual physical assult that puts other family members and friends lives at risk.
Hotel voucher programs and reserved open spots in pre-existing shelter systems do a similar solve to contemporary shelter programs but the reason mens shelters close isn’t always funding related. In part it’s because men don’t often choose that route because a restraining order is usually more than enough to deter a female abuser and it is more comfortable relying on people you know. In the cases of DV homicide women are way more likely to be killed if they leave, men tend to be killed if they stay. It’s not a matter of just dry DV stats. It’s in the nitty gritty details of how these scenarios play out by gender divide that cause these initiatives to fail… which means it needs dedicated grassroots support which by and large isn’t happening not because people won’t donate but because while straight men love to complain that there’s no mens shelters they are not coordinating dedicating their free time to make it happen. Queer specific initiatives are generally more successful because the organization structures are dedicated and they often do not rely on government but community support. What straight guys need to imbibe is you do not need a government stamp to start stuff.
I’m not denying the need for them for women, or that it’s greater, or that there are also issues with the existing shelters or anything. It’s just that half the entire country’s population is denied a form of emergency service just because it’s less critical for them.
Look, I did a quick search, and found listings for womens’ shelters that maxed out the listings I found in several different cities. More shelters than the service I used could show. But there are zero such services for men? Across the entire country? When 20% of reported cases are for men?
Look, I’m just trying to say that why isn’t there at least one per province or something? Why isn’t there a single half-baked part-time shelter anywhere in the entire country? It’s a complete abandonment of an entire demographic compared simply being underfunded. It’s like if there was zero funding going towards prostate cancer because breast cancer research was a higher priority.
It’s the difference between trying your best with what little you got against not even trying at all because you have differing priorities. One is a sad story, the other is abandonment, and that’s what I think is so terrible about it.