I’m a bisexual 19-year-old woman. I never dated a woman before. I came close to dating a girl who matched my type (literally my type but female) at 16 but I won’t talk about why.

I can’t even name a woman I’ve ever been attracted to nor a woman I’d date, I just wanted to try it in high school.

I don’t even have feelings for non-binary people. They’re alright, but I would probably never go out with them. I know for certain that I like men.

Men are hot. They give me a spark, they make me feel that special way, and not only could I see myself dating/having sex with a man, but I would also enjoy it. (Because I know some asexual people, for example, can imagine having sex but would not enjoy it due to having little to no sexual attraction.)

Women are stunning. I’ve never really had a crush, and while I can imagine myself dating one, I can’t imagine myself having sex with one at ALL.

But I guess I sort of like it when a woman compliments me and treats me like I’m the best, and I really just want a woman who has common interests with me. (One who likes makeup, TikTok, men, etc.)

I’m not homophobic or anything, but I would not date a lesbian simply because they don’t like men and I can’t relate. But that doesn’t mean I think of women as just friends. It just means that I may prefer men to women romantically and sexually for sure.

(I realize biromantic straight women also exist, or maybe bicurious straight women, I dunno.)

(When I say I’m bi, this is a good representation of what I mean)

  • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    2·
    6 hours ago

    Oh of course, I didn’t think you were advocating for conversion therapy 😅 It’s just where my mind happens to go when I think about fluctuating sexuality - just thinking through what does it mean to have a belief that sexual orientation is fixed while recognizing all the variety and fluctuations in my actual sexual experiences and desires, esp. one where I went from being only incidentally attracted to men to becoming almost as capable of feeling those desires as for women. One way to look at that might be to think I went from being mostly gay to being bi, for example.

    But yeah, even past that there is a lot to think about the way sexual desire works beyond gender, like you mention. It’s honestly more than I could even begin to speculate about.