I have not been professionally diagnosed as autistic, though I am awaiting the diagnostic process. I am wondering a bit about (what I think are) my autistic meltdowns, as they are almost the same as (what I think are) my panic attacks. People often call them panic attacks as well, also with no panic involved. In both cases I am shaking, hyperventilating, sweating more and some other things. As far as I remember my latest panic attack, I don’t think I was really craving having as few stimuli as possible and wasn’t crying either (both usually being the case with the autistic meltdowns).
So: how are your meltdowns like? How are they different from panic attacks for you?
I feel like there is electricity on my skin. I have visuals of flashing in my mind’s eye like lots of christmas lights. My hearing “throbs”. My muscles tense and I clench my fists. Everything becomes super irritating. Sometimes I hit myself and other times I completely dissociate and can’t move, staring into nothing. I often have a hard time responding to people. If I am in public I need to escape immediately. Sometimes I run away. Sometimes I start walking until I am exhausted.