I’ve had several conversations/arguments recently with my brother making clear my system of values and my hatred for the wealthy. He is nearly diametrically opposed on all accounts and often makes light of their actions. He goes so far as to say that poor people and people in need of social services should have to figure things out for themselves. He often defends Elon Musk and champions him for being self made.

He is getting married in a foreign country soon and I have been able to put aside our differences and have been planning on going

…up until yesterday that is. I asked him of his thoughts on Musk’s seig heil maneuver and he sent a right wing meme of democratic leaders caught mid wave, saying that “they did it first”. He continued to be avoidant and didn’t respond to me calling it a strawman.

In this moment it feels necessary to cancel my plans to send a message that this is not ok. Am I the (or an) asshole for not going to his wedding because of this?

  • endeavor@sopuli.xyzEnglish
    32·
    3 hours ago

    Nah, don’t go if you don’t want to. Family are just randomly assinged people you share the same genes with. If you don’t like them you don’t have to force yourself to like them in order to appease random strangers online.

    If he truly is your family and loves you, like all the “nonono he family you cant do this to FAMILY” posters are saying, he will understand and not hate you. If he does, fuck him.

    • Shezzagrad@lemmy.mlEnglish
      212·
      2 hours ago

      No offence but this is advice of a traumatized child. This is not how families should be and if this is yours, you need genuine therapy, definetly not giving others advice on family. Op do not listen to this

      • Phil_in_here@lemmy.ca
        1·
        5 minutes ago

        You’re right in that this is not how families should be. They should be people you care about and trust.

        Your family does get a pass for being family; you maybe don’t share the same interests or lifestyle that would otherwise form a distance in childhood friends that eventually fizzles out, but with families this shouldn’t be the case.

        But then sometimes your family members end up (or you discover) they are bad people. Yet even then you may stand with them as they sell drugs or rob people or even have killed people; they’re still family and what they’ve done can be understandable even if wrong.

        Then there are Nazis and Nazi sympathizers, apologists, and supporters.

        Families should stick together, but people also shouldn’t be Nazis. So here we are.

      • GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
        7·
        1 hour ago

        No offense, but this is advice from someone that’s not related to a rabbid wolverine with a toothache and a chemical imbalance. Some relatives are fucking nightmares, and no amount of tolerance is gonna change that. Walking away is sometimes the best for your mental health. Can confirm. My psycho sister disowning the whole family was the greatest gift she ever gave us.

        OP, unless you’re in therapy and Shezzgrad is your licensed professional help, then ignore their advice.

        • Shezzagrad@lemmy.mlEnglish
          11·
          33 minutes ago

          You’re kinda making it clear your projecting your own family issues onto op as my original comment to you. I have a psycho sister too, thing is, there’s a difference between differences in thought and being a literal fucking psycho, psycho is sending is shattering the family at the drop of the hat because you feel slighted, thinking Elon is the coolest dude ever (he isn’t) isn’t the same level, things aren’t black and white.

          OP, unless you’re in therapy and Shezzgrad is your licensed professional help, then ignore their advice.

          When I said it originally I was being a dick, but I think you may want to genuinely consider therapy, family traumas can be everlasting and can really kick in later on in adulthood, your sister experience sounds similar to mine

          • GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
            1·
            41 seconds ago

            So it’s not your professional opinion then, Dr.

            When I said it originally I was being a dick, but I think you may want to genuinely consider therapy

            I, too, was being a dick because you give advice like you’re intimately aware of the situation, when I’m guessing you are not. I’ve done therapy. Didn’t change the fact that I’m related to a person that would shove her kids into traffic if the mood suited. My ultimate point being that just because someone is a relative DOES NOT mean you need to keep them in your life.

            And beyond saying i have a psycho sister, what gives you the impression that our experiences are similar? I didn’t give a single detail. Unless we compare notes, that’s just you basing an opinion on your experiences. Projecting, if you will.