Every time I talk to my family about something, and my grandma happens to be in the room (almost always), I could bring up something such as school friends (since my family will ask if anything exciting happened), and I’ll bring up something ONCE like: “I’m so happy for my friend Ella. She’s liked this dude, Michael, for a long time, and now they’re finally together!”
Suddenly, my grandma will say “You know, it’s so WEIRD that you’re obsessed with Ella’s dating life? Why are you being so WEIRD?”
I’ll calmly respond with, “I’m just happy for her. I’m talking about things that happened at school.”
She’ll tell me that I get offended too easily and that I’m oppressing her, that she can’t say ANYTHING without me getting offended.
When I told my family that I just got diagnosed with a disorder and was trying to process it, she told me I was obsessed with “being mentally ill and making it my whole personality”, when I only mentioned being tested for it a few times.
She frequently makes comments when I say anything about a topic, and then when I calmly tell her that her comment isn’t true, she thinks that I’m upset with her and stuff.
How do I deal with the comments? I live with her, BTW.
That sounds like she’s trying to mock you or manipulate you, so she can gossip about you. Maybe she has friends who think it’s cool when one doesn’t get along with younger people.
I think the way you react is already very good, but I imagine it’s tiresome. Can’t be helped tho. You never know when old folks will die, so you shouldn’t avoid her alltogether, which is what I would suggest if she wasn’t elderly. You can maybe limit the time you see her, but not the frequency, so when she dies you have recently seen her, which avoids one of the things ppl often regret.