I’m not trying to hate, so please don’t insult me or give rude advice. As a bi girl myself, I’m genuinely just trying to understand and get input from other people here respectfully.

This one girl at my school, Ana, says she’s bi because the topic came up. I told her I was too, and that’s cool and all, but what I don’t understand is that Ana also says she doesn’t really find women attractive. She’d like to be friends with them, she finds them pretty in a platonic way, but she doesn’t want to date them. There is no female character she’d be attracted to, nor a celebrity, nor anyone. Ana says she’s kinda “ehh” on women romantically.

However, Ana is very obviously attracted to men. She often has a new male crush every two weeks or so, and finds a lot of celebrities (such as actors), fictional characters, and boys at school attractive and would definitely date them.

Again, I’m genuinely confused, so if you guys could help me understand, that would be greatly appreciated. I don’t understand why Ana says she’s bi with no gender preference. At first, I could see bi with a male preference, but she told me she straight-up doesn’t see women romantically and finds them “ehh”.

Ana also finds female genitalia gross and doesn’t feel sexual attraction towards them. She finds them completely ehh in all aspects, although she called herself a lesbian a few months ago.

I don’t ask her any questions or tell her who she is or isn’t attracted to, by the way, she brings them up in conversation.

  • whodatdair@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    101·
    7 days ago

    Honestly? It sounds like Ana is figuring herself out. I think maybe at this point you don’t need to 100% understand - keep in mind that she might not even know. I’d say don’t analyze it too hard, friendo.

    If she’s truly not into girls, eventually she’ll change her labels. But for now? I’d say be a bro and support whatever she decides to try. She’ll figure it out eventually.

    Sounds like you had a conversation with her about this already where you asked these questions? If I was in your shoes and I was friends with this person I’d consider apologizing to her for asking such pointed questions and share something about your journey with discovery of your own sexuality and share that those are the things that you worked through and that’s why you asked them. It’s very possible that the moment you asked those questions were the first time she considered them.

    I agree with the person who said they might be venturing out despite having most adults tell them that same sex attraction is bad. They might be feeling those feelings and denying them when asked directly. Be gentle.