“ We are the only species on Earth that observe “Shark Week”. Sharks don’t even observe “Shark Week”, but we do. For the same reason I can pick this pencil, tell you its name is Steve and go like this (breaks pencil) and part of you dies just a little bit on the inside, because people can connect with anything. We can sympathize with a pencil, we can forgive a shark, and we can give Ben Affleck an academy award for Screenwriting.”
-Jeff Winger
Community came out of the gates swinging.
It really did, first season knocked it out of the park, and it really didn’t start getting inconsistent until late season three, even then it’s still great
Is Good Will Hunting not considered a good movie? I’ve only heard good things about it, and that’s the Academy award I see for Ben Affleck.
Yes, Good Will Hunting is considered a good movie, a high quality movie in fact. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.
There is however a rumor that Good Will Hunting was written solely by Matt Damon, or at the very least the best parts of the film were written by Matt Damon. The joke being that Matt Damon earned the Award, and Ben Affleck’s name is just attached, but we feel bad for him so he gets the award too.
In fact the first season of Family Guy, released shortly after the film references it, https://youtu.be/DRd_Gv90Y4Q
I will note that there is no real legitimacy to this rumor. AFAIK it’s just tabloid gossip.
I was just recently revisiting old episodes of the harmontown podcast, and there’s one near the start where Dan Harmon rants about how Good Will Hunting is not a good movie. He particularly thinks the “how do you like them apples” scene is dumb. So I’m guessing, since Harmon wrote that speech, that Jeff Winger shares his opinion. He also mentioned the theory that William Goldman actually wrote the screenplay, but I think the main thing is that he thinks it sucks.
I believe it was the tour episode when they’re in Massachusetts.
I’m no Dan Harmon, but I think it sucks too.
I know I suck.
But I also hate when Afleck speaks with any kind of Bahstin accent.
Next we’ll find out that it was actually Matt Damon who was the bomb in Phantoms.
Oh my god. Steve is dead.
deleted by creator
No he just gets replaced, like that goldfish you had when you were a kid.
deleted by creator
With all the horses that retired from racing.
Close. Derek was a race horse!
Which to be fair that is pretty much never used nowadays, especially in the context of school arts and crafts and general purpose glues we normally interact with. It’s almost all synthetic now, not really because of animal rights or any ethical issue mind you, purely because synthetic is cheaper and can be tailored to have better properties.
Hold a small ceremony to celebrate its life as you lower Derek into the proper disposal bin.
Teaching opportunity about death! And even old age when he doesn’t work as well!
“In today’s society, we use up our friends until they’re an empty husk, then throw away the carcass! Now get your crayons out.”
I mean it’s a pretty apt analogy for what we do with animals. Stick a hen in a cage for 5 years forcing it to lay eggs, and once she’s too old just toss her in the grinder. It even happens to working dogs sometimes where they’ll get put down as soon as they’re no longer useful, despite mainstream human society genuinely considering them our friends and allies and not “merely livestock.”
As you can see children, Derek is no longer able to provide any benefit so we throw him in the trash. Remember this.
Kids need to learn the horrors of capitalism early
You mean the “retirement home”, it’s more suitable than calling it the waste basket
Do they have refillable glue sticks?
It’s pretty easy to refill glue sticks if you buy the right glue. Either as pre-made inserts or buying the glue in bulk, melting it over hot water, and pouring it into empty glue sticks.
It’s very uncommon though since glue sticks are so cheap and it’s just easier to throw them out when they’re empty and buy new ones. Obviously not a good situation sustainability wise but we live in a throwaway society so it’s par for the course. As such it also tends to be more expensive than just buying a new glue stick unless you’re doing it on a sufficiently large scale.
You say, “Oh, how terrible! I guess we will just have to send him to the hospital to be refilled.” Then you put Steve on your desk and when all the kids go home, you chuck Steve in the garage and set a brand new Steve out for tomorrow.
Derek. Derek was the glue stick. Steve was the tortured pencil.
I’m starting to think you don’t really care. Are you even human ? Hmmm ?
emergency glue transplant from an anonymous, new-from-the-store donor without a name
It’s all fun and games until the kids go home and tell their parents Derek went missing
“Derek got used up and we threw him in the trash”
💀
“I grabbed Derek and smeared him all over my art project today!”
I’m naming all my posts from now on.
This is Janegus. Janegus, this is where we keep the threads.
Delete him, brother. Delete Janegus.
Your upvote is in another Janegus.
Maximum Derek.
Works with farm animals too. In 2009 the ignobel Veterinary medicine price was given for discovering that cows who have names give more milk than cows that are nameless. Apparently the nameless cows receive inferior treatment from the employees, which is then reflected in their wellbeing and milk production. If production animals have only numbers instead of proper names, people have a harder time relating to them, and consequently, don’t treat them much better than a child would treat a nameless gluestick.
Interesting, the brain is a weird thing. Thanks for sharing!
Excellent to also teach Personification 👏
