ADHD combination type and used to battle depression with anhedonia every single day. I wasn’t sad, I was uninterested and couldn’t feel pleasure. I haven’t beaten it but I’m in control these days.
It’s an exhausting feedback loop. The less I did because I just couldn’t get myself together enough to do anything the worse I felt. The worse I felt, the less I was able to do.
Not so long ago I finally came to terms that I would never feel true happiness and joy like I did when I was very young. For maybe twenty to twenty five years I chased after it and all it did was make me miserable and sick. Now I just focus on hanging on and feeling content with it. It’s nice.
EDIT: I see ADHD subs focus on how one can hyperfixate on something then drop it. Many saw it as a failure. I see as a triumph because it means that I was interested and driving pleasure from someone well enough to not only get out of bed but also focus and be passionate, if only for a little while. To me, hyperfixation is a week or two of not having to struggle to get out of bed to just pee.
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ADHD combination type and used to battle depression with anhedonia every single day. I wasn’t sad, I was uninterested and couldn’t feel pleasure. I haven’t beaten it but I’m in control these days.
It’s an exhausting feedback loop. The less I did because I just couldn’t get myself together enough to do anything the worse I felt. The worse I felt, the less I was able to do.
I see you, friend.
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Your coping process brightens the day for the rest of us too. I hope that positivity keeps coming back your way.
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That just means you’re a good person despite whatever the universe has been throwing at you.
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Perhaps, but giving a shit in the first place is a pretty big differentiator.
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Not so long ago I finally came to terms that I would never feel true happiness and joy like I did when I was very young. For maybe twenty to twenty five years I chased after it and all it did was make me miserable and sick. Now I just focus on hanging on and feeling content with it. It’s nice.
EDIT: I see ADHD subs focus on how one can hyperfixate on something then drop it. Many saw it as a failure. I see as a triumph because it means that I was interested and driving pleasure from someone well enough to not only get out of bed but also focus and be passionate, if only for a little while. To me, hyperfixation is a week or two of not having to struggle to get out of bed to just pee.
This is me. I see you