• nfh
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    3022 months ago

    Only one of these men taught high school. Coincidence, I think not

    • FuglyDuck
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      1662 months ago

      also, only one of those men hasn’t had plastic surgery and doesn’t pay a small fortune to maintain their fake-ass-hair, or their fake-ass-smile.

      • @Pronell@lemmy.world
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        622 months ago

        Reminder - look at Tom Cruise’s teeth. He has a single middle front tooth.

        Not shaming him for having had bad teeth of course, just pointing it out. Many other superior reasons to shame him.

        • FuglyDuck
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          362 months ago

          having bad teeth is one thing. Don’t get me wrong.

          But they dump a small fortune in purely cosmetic stuff, too. They all do. or like their hair. They’re probably spending a a few hundred a week to keep that hair looking the way it does. Not to mention the plugs, the rogaine or whatever other thing they’re doing to keep from going bald.

          (also, for the record, they Cruise looks like a slimeball about to sell a used car to a sucker. brad pit looks a few synapses short of an original thought.)

          • ThePowerOfGeek
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            172 months ago

            Your point made me realize finding… It’s kind of weird that Cruise hasn’t got his tooth situation fixed considering all the money he’s pumped into plastic surgery, hair treatment, thetan persecution, etc.

                • @Blackmist@feddit.uk
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                  42 months ago

                  Yeah, the middle tooth is like a leftover thing. He used to have really awful teeth up to and including Legend I think.

                  It would probably need some quite horrendous surgery to move it all over by half a tooth, and tbh he doesn’t need to. It certainly never hurt his career in the pretty boy years, and I don’t see why it would now.

            • @TachyonTele@lemm.ee
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              32 months ago

              You never know, he might have had a mold made, and wears that. Image is everything to guys like that.

          • @ReCursing
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            42 months ago

            Cruise looks like a slimeball about to sell a used car to a sucker.

            Which is why he was so perfect for Edge Of Tomorrow. I can;t think of anyone else who could be both that slimy and also believable in the action scenes. Excellent movie. i watched it to get to see Cruise get killed a lot, and I got that in spades, but I also got a superb action movie!

        • @forrgott@lemm.ee
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          72 months ago

          Oh god, now I can’t unsee…which is awesome! I’m not gonna be able to do anything but laugh at each and every photo I see of him from now on. So, yeah, thanks! :-D

    • Ech
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      32 months ago

      Upvote for that smooth Incredibles reference.

  • @frickineh@lemmy.world
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    1002 months ago

    Well, one of them is an abusive drunk, one is a cult member who has multiple ex-wives who’ve basically fled the marriage, and one is Tim Walz. Think I’d pick Walz.

    • @ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      582 months ago

      My main takeaway is cults and alcohol abuse makes you look young.

      But having a loving fulfilling life makes you oh so fuckable. 🤤

      • @frickineh@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Nah, money makes you look young, but it also seems to turn a lot of people into real assholes. Tbh, though, I think people are mistaking handsome for youthful - I don’t really think either of them look any younger in the face than Walz, it’s just the hair.

      • ShieldGengar
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        112 months ago

        The average cultist in d&d has more health and stats than regular commoners

  • @yesman@lemmy.world
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    572 months ago

    Superstar actors are more attractive than the general population? Next your going to tell me that a professional athletes of his age are in better shape.

    • @GoosLife@lemmy.world
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      52 months ago

      Actually, I’m pretty sure professional athletes of his age would be in worse shape. Professional athletes tend to give their bodies a pretty brutal beating for years in the sprint towards pushing themselves to the absolute extreme limits of what the human body can do. This is also not healthy or natural, just on the other end of the scale from a sedentary lifestyle.

      I mean, I got your point, I just felt like it was worth pointing out that athletes aren’t necessarily symbols of health, especially not in the later stages of life.

  • bruhbeans
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    362 months ago

    To be fair, these days Tom Cruise looks like someone wearing a Tom Cruise mask

  • @Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world
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    262 months ago

    From what I’ve heard bread Pitt is bald. I mean if they didn’t have the Hollywood money, guys like Pitt would look like the rest of us

    • @ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      102 months ago

      I guarantee you he has plugs, now the question is does that qualify as bald? I mean, if he went bald and had it surgically altered so he’s now not, is he or isn’t he? Modern day philosophy and shit.

      • @Yamayo@lemmy.world
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        12 months ago

        Lets say that if he has to take finasteride and/or minoxidil every day to stop the baldness then then he has alopecia, but not a bald head.

        If you go through a hair transplant you need to take medication every day, if not, you’ll eventually lose the hair.

  • Flying Squid
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    142 months ago

    Honestly, I’d rather look like Tim Walz. Looking like either of those other two sounds kind of exhausting.