The number of examples I have seen of people being told to shut up about their lived experiences with sexual abuse in the past 24 hours on this platform is deeply disturbing.

I am calling on y’all to take a deep breath and listen to women for once. There is a time and place for tone policing and it’s never the very minute a woman speaks up.

  • @neatchee@lemmy.world
    27•6 months ago

    You’re not listening. YOU are not portrayed as a predator. YOU need to take a backseat for the betterment of the lives of the victims of injustice. Just because something isn’t your fault doesn’t mean it’s not your responsibility to deal with it when you are in the class of people benefitting from the injustice.

    As the other commentor said: punching up is very, very different than punching down.

    When a specific person treats you, specifically, poorly because you’re a man, THEN you can talk about how you are not a threat, and try to convey that you are actually an ally (which is questionable based on your reactions here). But when there is a conversation about average behavior and expectations, side with the victims. You are not a victim. You do not lose more than you gain from being a man. Maybe you get weird looks when you’re solo-parenting but you still make $1 to a woman’s $0.79 or whatever the number is today for soemeone in the same job.

    So please, stop focusing on yourself. It’s selfish. Try to think about the bigger picture. And yeah, take one for the team when it comes to memes about bears

    • AggressivelyPassive
      12•6 months ago

      Tell me, exactly, how I am not meant? I’m a man, men are portrayed as universally dangerous. How am I not implied here?

      Thinking I’m not meant is wishful thinking. And it’s extremely interesting, that suddenly I’m portrayed by you as a bad guy, because I say “hey, I’m not a bad guy, why do you call me that?”. I explicitly mentioned the very real predators. But you ignored that.

      And thinking like yours is exactly why there’s so much hate. I don’t subscribe to the party line, that men have to shut up and just have to accept that they are all potentially vile beasts, and thus I have to be one of the vile beasts. Don’t you see that? Do you really don’t see what you’re doing here? You’re creating the us vs them chasm. You’re alienating people because you’re just now actively accusing me of being a bad guy. And yes, it’s about me, because I’m a man and this meme is about men. I’m in it. Just like you are.

      • @neatchee@lemmy.world
        14•6 months ago

        You’re still not listening and it’s obvious you don’t want to. You seem incapable of stepping outside of your own lived experience and considering the experience of others. You take everything personally, rather than looking at why the generalization might be valid even if you consider yourself an exception.

        I’m a 6’1" burly, hairy, white guy with a deep voice. My wife knows I couldn’t hurt anyone. The stranger on the street does not. So I don’t take it personally when women get startled in public if I’m unexpectedly boisterous near them. And I wouldn’t take it personally if, given the chance, a woman chose to create space between us on an empty street at night.

        The fact is, other men have made the world harder for us. And that sucks. But not nearly as hard as they make it for women. So if you’re going to be pissy with anyone, aim your disdain at the shithead men who created this situation instead of the women who just want to feel safe.

        It’s easy to demand women “don’t discriminate” against you. It’s hard to demand men behave better. That’s the difference between punching up and punching down. Learn to punch up instead of taking the easy way.

        And to head off the obvious counter argument: it’s different than race because men actually, demonstrably hold positions of power and privilege over women simply by being men. The same is not true of skin color, etc. Again, punching up vs punching down.