So which is it?? The Lemmy devs priorities are their own and their priorities don’t line up with most of the community; or their priorities are beholden to what NLNet says so they don’t get paid??

Both.

NLnet works like:

• You come up with a project, with whatever priorities you want, and split it into some tasks.
• If NLnet deems it worthy, they’ll pay you for each task they consider you completed successfully.

Until community donations, or commercial services (which are compatible with NLnet), exceed what they’re getting paid by NLnet, they’re beholden to prioritize tasks that NLnet has agreed to pay for.

If those tasks “don’t line up with most of the community”… well, tough luck. The community is free to contribute or donate more.

Yes, adding or changing tasks is possible, but it still requires NLnet approval to get paid.

PS: in those threads there is mention of not addressing lolicon “pornography” as a priority… keep in mind NLnet projects are EU funded with an EU perspective, and multiple countries in the EU consider lolicon “fictional non-realistic” drawings as “not pornography”. For the realistic ones, maybe @db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com could weigh in on the blocking statistics.