• @Death_Equity@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    110 months ago

    Product of the times. It used to be that infidelity was uncommon, but it happens with around 35% of unmarrived couples and around 20% of married couples today, with twice as many being the mens’ fault, probably due to their own faults not being the men that women deserve.

    Around 65% of romantic couples begin as platonic couples.

    The best relationships are based on a foundation as best friends. If you can’t be best friends, then you can’t have a strong enough relationship to make marriage work. There are a lot of people who get married based on expectations and poor reasoning, but the relationships that last are between people who are best friends, can communicate effectively, and naturally meet each other’s needs last the longest. That is a narrow band of people per individual which can persist without outside pressure(culture, religion, kids, etc.).

    We are so lonely and desperate to have someone to love and be loved by that we end up in relationships that are unsustainable. Meeting someone who actually completes you, or feels more compatible, ruins a workable relationship because it is not harder than the easiest day spent with another person who can only temporarily satisfy the needs left unfulfilled by a relationship with a viable partner.

    The grass is always greener, but your grass can be just as green if you put in the work, and that takes effort that may not seem as cheap as hopping the fence. Put in the work and the hassle of switching pasture will be less than the upkeep, that is hard to understand.

    • @orrk@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      110 months ago

      If there is any given fact about the human condition, it is infidelity, this goes back as far as we have records of marriage being a thing. The modern change is how we see marriage and relationships.

      And while I agree on the friends make good relationship partners, it is not the duty, or even the point, of the other person “completing” you. If you want a good relationship, you need to be “complete” on your own, because no one, not even a romantic partner, can do that for you.

      PS:

      with twice as many being the mens’ fault, probably due to their own faults not being the men that women deserve

      you’re a feminist (bigot who hides behind the veil of equal rights for all sexes, note the massive quotes) aren’t you? I would recommend you do some introspection if you really believe yourself a feminist, and why you would victim blame anyone for “not being good enough” real “you made me hit you” vibes here