• @FlowVoid@lemmy.world
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    01 year ago

    I talked to someone in finance, and the first thing they said is that nothing has guaranteed returns.

    • BOMBS
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      21 year ago

      FlowVoid: Hi, I’m FlowVoid.

      Person in finance: Nothing has guaranteed returns.

      FlowVoid: Oh…uh, ok.

      Person in finance: I’m in finance.

      • @FlowVoid@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Close! But here’s what actually happened…

        FlowVoid: Hi, I’m FlowVoid, your 1:30 pm appointment. I’m here for some guaranteed returns, here’s $3.50, now set me up finance bro.

        Person in finance: Nothing has guaranteed returns. Also get out.

        • @KevonLooney@lemm.ee
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          21 year ago

          You can get a guaranteed return in many ways.

          • US Treasury bonds: if the US government fails you’ll have bigger problems than money. You don’t need to worry about that scenario. You’ll win the lottery first.
          • Pay off a loan: by paying off your principal early you can guarantee that you pay less interest in the future.
          • Buy something that saves you money: if you like cooking, an herb garden will save you a lot of money. If you like sweets, baking equipment will do the same.