On October 25, 2019, I woke up, hungover again, after grabbing just a few hours of restless, pass out sleep, and called in sick to work, again. I lay there, wallowing in self-hatred and depression, my head pounding and my stomach queasy, and I was just desperate not to have to live like this. I opened up the note app on my phone, and wrote myself a message not to forget how this felt and never to go back. It was a hail Mary, I’d tried and failed so many times to give it up, but like I said, I was desperate so I threw myself a message in a bottle that I could go back and read.

It worked. I got rid of all leftover booze in my house, which I’d tried before, and took it day by day. I haven’t had a drop since. I read and re-read that note to myself multiple times over the years, and it’s helped remind me of that day, of how it feels to be under that yoke. And it’s strengthened me in my resolve to never take it on again.

If you’re reading this, I’m not saying that this is the answer for you. What I am saying is that there is hope, things can change, life can get better. You aren’t doomed, you can be free of this. Don’t stop fighting, don’t stop struggling, even when it gets hard. You can do it. You can make it.

I believe in you. I support you. IWNDWYT.