Of course, there are exceptions, but try to say yes more than you’d initially want. If coworkers are going out for drinks after work, but you’d rather go home and stream/game/etc, go out. Same for other social activities.
As a fellow introvert, I sympathize, but there’s certian things that are cornerstones of western civilization and unfortunately going out for a pint or five is one of them and has been for centuries, so it’s not going to stop being so any time soon. Adopt a “when in Rome attitude”.
You don’t have to socialise with co-workers, but if you don’t have many friends it’s a good start. Interacting with other people, improving your social skills, learning and sharing from/with others all help you grow as a human and find your place in the world.
I 100% empathize with your situation. Mine was nearly identical in my early 20s. I’m very introverted, spending time with people is draining.
In my late 20s, I started forcing myself to say yes more to nearly anything and everything. I made some great new life long friends, had experiences that I’d never had considered in the past, and overall became a better person due to more varied experiences. Additionally, I’ve had many career opportunities open up because of these relationships.
Trust me, I know the comfort zone is easy to stay in and enjoy all the time. I do it still! But I also try to force myself out of my comfort zone. It makes me a better person with more perspectives to draw upon.
Finally, drinking doesn’t have to be the activity, that was a quick example. Going to the beach, go for a hike, go to an arcade or barcade, play board games, and on and on.
And if you don’t want to, that’s perfectly fine. But I’d highly suggest just trying it for a period of time. You may dislike it at first, but it will affect you as a person in many ways, some of those may be positive.
I’m literally on the spectrum and being around people can be the exhausting, but it’s still a good habit to say yes more, because you will genuinely enjoy those experiences, and your life, more as you engage more.
I’m also autistic and I have tried saying yes to things, but I just don’t enjoy it.
Friends are mainly just extra effort that I don’t have the time or energy for. I have one, and my dogs, and I don’t feel I need anything more than that.
Now I just work from home and only have to see coworkers every six months or so for an office visit. It’s pretty great.
Whilst I respect your experiences, they’re not a universal truth for everyone.
One tip, say yes more than you say no.
Of course, there are exceptions, but try to say yes more than you’d initially want. If coworkers are going out for drinks after work, but you’d rather go home and stream/game/etc, go out. Same for other social activities.
As someone in their 20s who detests that kind of thing and wouldn’t ever say yes, what’s the reasoning behind saying yes?
Drunk people are awful, and going out is loud and annoying. Is it just that it’s a good skill to be able to do things that make you miserable?
No, it’s good to improve your social skills
For what purpose though? Socialising seems like a waste of time.
If you never want to have a partner or socialize ever and want to live alone, I guess you could just not talk to people other than for work
This is not the most common case, though
Then why are you here?
“your network is your net worth” also loneliness kills
For the purpose of not being completely alone and sad in your 30ies
As a fellow introvert, I sympathize, but there’s certian things that are cornerstones of western civilization and unfortunately going out for a pint or five is one of them and has been for centuries, so it’s not going to stop being so any time soon. Adopt a “when in Rome attitude”.
you don’t have to get shitfaced. I usually get non-alcohlic beer
Suggest an activity not involving drinking that would like to do with others instead.
Just spending time with them without drinking? It’s not a difficult concept. Why do you require alcohol in order to interact with others?
But why do I need to spend time with others at all? Work is for working, I don’t go to work to make friends or socialise.
You don’t have to socialise with co-workers, but if you don’t have many friends it’s a good start. Interacting with other people, improving your social skills, learning and sharing from/with others all help you grow as a human and find your place in the world.
I 100% empathize with your situation. Mine was nearly identical in my early 20s. I’m very introverted, spending time with people is draining.
In my late 20s, I started forcing myself to say yes more to nearly anything and everything. I made some great new life long friends, had experiences that I’d never had considered in the past, and overall became a better person due to more varied experiences. Additionally, I’ve had many career opportunities open up because of these relationships.
Trust me, I know the comfort zone is easy to stay in and enjoy all the time. I do it still! But I also try to force myself out of my comfort zone. It makes me a better person with more perspectives to draw upon.
Finally, drinking doesn’t have to be the activity, that was a quick example. Going to the beach, go for a hike, go to an arcade or barcade, play board games, and on and on.
And if you don’t want to, that’s perfectly fine. But I’d highly suggest just trying it for a period of time. You may dislike it at first, but it will affect you as a person in many ways, some of those may be positive.
You’ll hate having fun less if you have fun more.
I’m literally on the spectrum and being around people can be the exhausting, but it’s still a good habit to say yes more, because you will genuinely enjoy those experiences, and your life, more as you engage more.
I’m also autistic and I have tried saying yes to things, but I just don’t enjoy it.
Friends are mainly just extra effort that I don’t have the time or energy for. I have one, and my dogs, and I don’t feel I need anything more than that.
Now I just work from home and only have to see coworkers every six months or so for an office visit. It’s pretty great.
Whilst I respect your experiences, they’re not a universal truth for everyone.
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